"And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live." Deuteronomy 30:6

but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.
2 Peter 3:18

Friday, November 27, 2009

The Journey we are on...

I guess I should start off by introducing myself. I am Michelle, and I am married to Joey. We will celebrate 7 years on November 30. We have 4 children. Josiah will be 6 on December 18; Katie Jo (Kathryn JoAnn) will be 5 on January 30; Eli is 2.5 yrs old; and Janie Beth (Janie Elizabeth) is due February 7, 2010. I was born again in the fall of 1999. God has brought me on an amazing journey over these last 10 years.

Our precious Janie Beth has been diagnosed with a rare fatal form of dwarfism. Her chest cavity is too small to contain lungs that will support breathing. Her ribs and lungs will be too weak. We are placing her in God's hands. We pray for a miracle here on earth, but we know that her miracle may come in Heaven. We are thankful that if she goes to Heaven, we will be re-united with her one day. She has blessed our lives so much already and has answered many prayers. The answers did not come in the way we would have liked, but God ways and thoughts are higher than our ways and thoughts.

I would be lying if I said that my heart did not ache during this time. I long to be able to hold my baby girl and bring her home. I have times everyday that I cry. It has been one week ago today that we learned of her diagnosis. It feels like so long ago. I am trying to enjoy every moment that we have with her. I am so thankful for her movements. Her arms are too short for me to feel them too often, but she is breech and I feel her feet quite often. :)

Right now my life is consumed with Janie Beth. I am so thankful to have my other children during this time. Although, it breaks my heart to hear them grieve for Janie Beth. We went and made Janie Beth animals for each of them to hold when they are thinking about her and be able to tell them what they are thinking. Josiah has a polar bear, Katie Jo has a panda bear, and Eli has an elephant. Josiah's polar bear has come to represent Janie Beth's presence when we are doing things because she never leaves his side.

Not only are we dealing with Janie Beth's precious journey, but Joey is without a job right now. He is a pastor and we have now been where we are now for one year while looking for a new church to serve in. God has graciously provided for us and He never ceases to amaze me!!! He is so good to us!!!

I homeschool Josiah for kindergarten, and I am trying to get myself better at having things for Katie Jo and Eli to do. :) It has been a true blessing to be homeschooling during this journey. Thank You, Lord, for laying this on our hearts!

I am creating this blog to be able to write about our journey in a way that our family and friends can see. It will also be to update people on our everyday lives. As you can imagine, we have a 3 ring circus around our house most days.

I have named my blog Leaning on the Everlasting Arms because that is exactly how I am making it through each and every day. His strength is holding me up and God's peace that passes understanding is filling my heart. Thank You, Abba, for carrying me through this journey. I love You!!!

Here are pictures of each of the kids with their Janie Beth's that we made at Build A Bear.


  1. Michelle, what a beautiful idea to have the animals for the kids... a great, tangible way for them to get through this! Thank you for sharing the link with us on the Mommy's board... we are all thinking of you and definitely still praying for God's amazing Hand of peace.

  2. The kids are so cute with their animals! I'm sure they will cherish their "Janie Beth's" for a long, long time!

  3. Michelle, What a wonderful blog. You have such amazing faith. We are on this journey right beside you. We are praying for all of you and Janie Beth. What beautiful pictures of the kids with their Janie Beth's. You are a blessing to all of us, thank you for sharing your lives and most difficult struggle with us!! We love you dearly! Aunt Janetta & Uncle Steve

  4. So glad you have started a blog! I love the animal idea for the kids. That is so neat! Please know that I am thinking (and praying) for you multiple times a day. If you ever need anything, please do not hesitate to call me. We are here for playdates, dinner, or even if you just need some girl time. :)