Eli is 5!!!!

Elisha James is now a whole hand!! It is hard to believe that it has been 5 years since I gave birth to him. He was my first rainbow baby as he came after 2 miscarriages. Eli was the first child that I cherished a little more since I had now experienced loss. Eli was the first one that I wore. I had 2 different hotslings. He was the first one that I had to figure out to do things while I nursed LOL. The 2 and 3 year old weren't going to wait too long. :) His pregnancy was filled with issues. I had a large subchoronic hemorage during the first trimester, so I spotted a lot. Then, at 33 wks I was put on bedrest due to preterm labor. I was put on meds every 6 hrs, and even had shots in the hospital 3 different times to stop labor. Then, he was my only scheduled induction (docs feared we wouldn't make it to the hospital b/c we lived 40 min away), and he was born 2.5 hours after it was started. I read a book :). His labor was the first time I experienced issues with an epidural. (It ended up being my 2nd to last one as the last 2 have been natural.) Eli has done things to his own beat from conception. haha!!

Eli.... your name is said quite often throughout the day. You are usually in the middle of whatever is going on, whether it be good or bad. :) You are the life of the party. You are hilarious, and oftentimes without meaning to be! You brighten up multiple peoples days because I share your humor with others.

You are all about sports, and it doesn't matter which one. We have been playing baseball a lot lately in the yard. You also love football. You are still a true Alabama fan, much to your father's liking. You are a good athlete and most sports come naturally to you. You love to be outside even though you are sweating within 2 minutes.

You love boots!!! At the moment you own snow boots, black cowboy boots (that you call brown boots, not sure why!), and fireman rain boots. The fireman boots are worn most every day. If I would let you, you would wear them to church! Most of the time they are on the wrong feet, but that is just you! :)

You are a lover of band-aids. They cure amazing things! You love angry birds and the wii, and if I would let you, you would play all day! You play army with Josiah and pretend with Katie. You love to help with Joy Schelle and Timothy. You are a very proud big brother. I believe you and Joy will be conspiring together very soon! You plan to teach Timothy everything, except to love. According to you, Timothy is going to teach you how to do that! :D

You are very excited to be starting kindergarten in a few weeks. (Our summer break was April and May.) It is hard for me to believe that you are starting school! You will be our class clown.

Eli, you bring a smile to my face just thinking about you! You try my patience more than your siblings many days, but you also have so much life that you bring to every day. I love when you sit next to me and lean up against me. Your random hugs are awesome! I am learning to let go and love you more, and God is blessing.

I am excited to see what God has in store for your life over this next year. You are growing in so many ways.

Father God, thank You so much for adding Eli to our family! Thank You for the privilege and honor of being his mother. May You continue to draw him to You. May You bless him over this next year. I pray that You would wipe out his bad dreams and fill his dreams with peace. Plant seeds in his heart and water them, bringing him closer to giving his heart to Jesus. I pray that You would mold him and prepare him for Your calling on his life. He is a fireball, and I pray that he would be a fireball for Jesus!! Help me be the mother he needs. Show me how to teach him and disciple him. Thank you again for such an awesome middle son! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.


You cheered for Katie Jo and Josiah. You are the next one to get to play a sport, and you are very excited! We are hoping you get to in the fall.

 You pull for Eli Manning since his name is the same. For a while you even pointed to the T.V. and said, "there I am, Eli Manning." LOL

 Dad's dream :) Could very easily be yours as well.

 Exhausted. This rarely happened, and never happens now.

 You went through a phase where you wore a belt everyday no matter the clothing. The belt wore out and had to be thrown away!

 You caught it!

 You rolled the ball back and forth with Joy Schelle

 Snow boots!

 These were Katie's boots. We called them your pirate boots. They bit the dust in the fall after so much wear.

 Had to pose with your new football for your Christmas picture!

 Proud of his puzzle abilities :)

 Basketball!

 The cool dude

 The crazies!

 Big brother to a brother now!

 You are a police officer directing the traffic. (notice the boots!)

 This is how you took your picture. Yep, upside down! That is how you roll! LOL

He is still there...

We were driving to church Sunday morning. I wasn't in the best place because it was raining, so it was highly possible that we wouldn't make it to the cemetary. I was frustrated with myself because I had forgotten the flowers that I wanted to put in Janie's vase Saturday while we were out and about. Plus, it was baby dedication Sunday. We dedicated Joy in November, so this wasn't my first time to participate in dedication since losing Janie Beth, but it was different being on Mother's Day.

As we were driving, I noticed that the storm clouds were moving, but the clouds behind them were not. The bright white clouds with the sun's rays surrounding them were standing firm behind the storm clouds. They weren't moving. It reminded me of something God taught me not too long after Janie Beth passed. The sun is always shining behind the storm. Just because it is storming doesn't mean that the sun has left. It is the same with life. When the storms of life come, the Son is still shining behind the clouds! Just because life is hard and dark and the storm is raging, it doesn't mean that the Son has left us. He is standing firm behind the clouds.

Sometimes the storms of life clear up all at once. Those are amazing!! But, usually it is like the clouds on Sunday; the storm clouds slowly blow away and reveal that white, fluffy, bright clouds behind full of the Son's rays. That is what God is doing in our lives. He seems to be slowly moving the storm clouds away. They are still surrounding us, but there are now glimpses of white clouds and blue skies. I don't know how long it will take for the sky to clear and the sun to shine, but I do know that it will be in God's perfect time. His timing is not my timing, but it is perfect timing!!!

God even met me at church (imagine that!?! :)). He knew I needed a reminder that He was there, even though He had met me as we drove into town for church. We stand to sing the welcoming song, and it is none other than "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms"!!! My song through Janie's journey. The name of my blog. I cried! God cares! He sees the little things. Jesus hugged me through that song. What a special way for Janie Beth to be a part of Baby Dedication. We dedicated Timothy (yes, he was born, and I hope to blog about it soon! Our Easter baby) and all 5 of his siblings were mentioned from the pulpit. Janie Beth is a proud big sister!

God is still there!

Thank You, Abba, for caring about the little things. Thank You for knowing what I need even more than I do! I didn't even know I needed that song. Thank You for the storm clouds because it is in the storm that I draw nearer to You. Thank You for the white clouds and the sun that shines because they show me that there is hope; the storm will not last forever. I love You, Father! Thank You, Jesus, for hugging me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen

Walking With You~ Naming My Children

All of our children have at least one "J" name and a Bible name, as well as a family name. As crazy as it sounds, Janie Beth, doesn't actually fit every requirement. Her name was originally going to be Janie Elizabeth, and we would call her Janie Beth. Janie, of course, is her "J" name. Elizabeth was the Bible name, and was Joey's grandmother's name. After finding out that she wouldn't live after birth, we decided to make her name Janie Beth since that is what we had been calling her. We figured that she had quite a story already, and I didn't want to have to say her name is Janie Elizabeth, but we call her Janie Beth when she wasn't going to be here. 

Janie means God is gracious. I LOVE this!!! I really thought it was neat when we were coming up with her name because Katie Jo's middle name, JoAnn, also means God is gracious. :) I was reserved about using Janie because that was the name we had been throwing around for my second miscarriage and that is how I referred to that baby. (I have to say that looking back there were many ways God prepared me and warned my spirit that Janie wasn't going to stay this side of heaven. This is one of those ways.)

Beth means consecrated to God. How precious is that!?! :)

I will admit that the requirements for names has changed as we have gone along. I am a lot more picky now than I was with the first few. I look at the name meanings before deciding if it has a chance. LOL I am also more picky about which family names I will use. I want to use names of people that I want my children to look up to and aspire to be like.

Josiah Mark
Josiah is the Bible and "J" name. Mark is Joey's middle name.
Josiah: fire of the Lord (I pray that he will be on fire for the Lord!)
Mark: warlike (hmmmm... LOL)

Kathryn JoAnn "Katie Jo"
She is named after both of her grandmothers. Joan, pronounced JoAnn, was Joey's mother's name, but she went by "Jo". My mom's name is Kathryn, but she goes by "Kathy". JoAnna is in the Bible. Katie Jo technically doesn't fit all our current criteria either since neither of her names is really in the Bible.
Kathryn: Beloved (How sweet!)
JoAnn: God is gracious

Elisha James "Eli"
I actually took a little time to say ok to Elisha. LOL I prefered Elijah, but Joey likes the prophet Elisha and thinks he is pretty cool. I finally said ok, if we call him Eli. :) James is Joey's dad's name and both of his grandfather's names.
Elisha: God is my salvation (Amen!)
James: one who supplants/ to replace (After reading Kelly's post I find this meaning neat. Eli came after 2 miscarriages.)

Joy Michelle "Joy Schelle"
Joy was named Joy because she would bring Joy to our family after losing Janie Beth. Michelle is obviously my name. LOL It took me a while to warm up to Joey's suggestion that she have my name as her middle name. She has indeed brought Joy to her mommy, Michelle. :)
Joy: joy :)
Michelle: who is like the Lord (I need to begin praying this over her!)

Timothy Joseph "TJ" or Timothy
Joseph is Joey's name. We just like Timothy! He was an amazing man in the Bible! I can only pray that our Timothy with have a love for the Lord like the Timothy in the Bible!
Timothy: honoring God
Joseph: God shall add (another son) (I find this pretty cool!!! God definitely added Timothy. :))

It is funny how all the boys have ended up having both names be Biblical. This was not at all done on purpose! It just so happened that their family names were Biblical. If God decides to give us another baby, and the baby is a girl, then her family name will either be Jane or Beth after her big sister. :) That was also the plan this time, but I don't think Timothy would appreciate having either of those names. ;)

This has been a neat post for me to write! In looking up the meanings of their names, God has shown me ways that I can be praying for each of my children.

Walking With You~ Saying Goodbye

This week are talking about the funeral planning and saying our final good-byes to our dear little ones.

We really didn't do much planning for Janie Beth's Celebration of Life before her birth. We went to the doctor the day before Jaie Beth was born and found out that I was 4 cm already and very soft. Upon finding that out, Joey went to the funeral home that afternoon. He picked out the casket and talked to the funeral director, who was amazing and a true God send! I believe he may have gone by the cemetary too, but there wasn't anything to do there at that time.

Since Janie Beth passed so close to the holidays there were some people that would have been out of town had we done her Celebration the weekend following her death, so we decided to wait a week and have it on Sunday afternoon, January 10, 2010.

The week after going home and before the Celebration, we planned what we wanted done. We went to the cemetary and picked out her spot and the tombstone we wanted and what we wanted on the stone. We were blessed to have a dear lady from church work at the cemetary. She sees it as a ministry and was very sweet. (I will interject here that she called a few weeks before from the cemetary and I was in the shower. It completely freaked me out to see the Cemetary show up on my caller id! Turns out she was calling b/c her Sunday School class had something for us. :))

We had visitation the night before her Celebration. It was a blessed time to share Janie Beth with those that didn't see her at the hospital. We found small animals that we the same as the kids big Janie animals. They put one in the casket with her and they each kept one. Katie Jo also picked out a baby doll to go in with Janie and we named her Katie Jo. :) She also has a lamb identical to the one I have, and Josiah drew her a sweet picture. We also placed pictures in her casket with her. She wore a dress just like the one she wore in the hospital, but I had to buy a new one and another blanket because I wanted to keep everything she wore or was wrapped up in at the hospital. She looked beautiful!!! My box from Sufficient Grace Ministries didn't get to me until after her birth, so I had a picture taken of my hand wearing my bracelet on her with her bracelet laying on her.

 The kids putting their things in with Janie.

 Our bracelets

 Proud Daddy!

We had her slideshow on a TV in the corner for all to see.

 How she looked before we left. :) She is well loved!!!

I had a little bit of trouble leaving her, but not much because you could tell she wasn't really there. It was just her beautiful little body. Of course I cried as we left but only because I knew I wouldn't see her again. Katie Jo cried as well. I also was sad to leave her in the building, but she was in good hands.

We had our NILMDTS photographer come and photograph the visitation as well as the Celebration and graveside. I am very thankful to have those pictures!!!

The next afternoon was her Celebration of Life. I opened up with a duet with the trumpet and piano of "My Tribute". We had congregational singing as well of some hymns that meant a lot to us; "Because He Lives", "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms", and I think there was one more that isn't coming to my mind. We had Joey's sister play the harp. She played "Jesus Loves Me" and her daughter sang. Joey got up and spoke. It was really good!! The only disappointing part was the sermon by the minister, but thats ok! Overall the service was wonderful. We also played the slideshow of Janie Beth's NILMDTS pictures. I was very proud to see my precious baby girl on the screen!

Joey carried her casket anywhere it went, even from the hearse into the church before the service.

We then went to the graveside after her Celebration. It was a beautiful day! It was cold, but the sun was shining.

We still visit Janie Beth. I love to decorate her area!!!! It is how I can take  care of her. :) I spend forever in Hobby Lobby picking out just the right things! I am very thankful to have a place to go that is hers. God has met me multiple times there!!!

In the Snow on her first Christmas.

This was last spring/summer.

This past fall.

 This past Christmas

Her 1st Birthday.

Her 2nd Birthday.

We also release balloons at her grave on her birthday. Just a few days after she passed some friends brought us 22 pink balloons for the 22 hours that she lived. We released those, and her 1st birthday we released 22 pink 1st birthday balloons. This year we released Red Robin balloons because that is where we usually go eat on birthdays, so we went for her birthday and each of the kiddos got a balloon and released them. A couple days later we released her Happy Birthday Princess balloon.