Walking With You~ Naming My Children

All of our children have at least one "J" name and a Bible name, as well as a family name. As crazy as it sounds, Janie Beth, doesn't actually fit every requirement. Her name was originally going to be Janie Elizabeth, and we would call her Janie Beth. Janie, of course, is her "J" name. Elizabeth was the Bible name, and was Joey's grandmother's name. After finding out that she wouldn't live after birth, we decided to make her name Janie Beth since that is what we had been calling her. We figured that she had quite a story already, and I didn't want to have to say her name is Janie Elizabeth, but we call her Janie Beth when she wasn't going to be here. 

Janie means God is gracious. I LOVE this!!! I really thought it was neat when we were coming up with her name because Katie Jo's middle name, JoAnn, also means God is gracious. :) I was reserved about using Janie because that was the name we had been throwing around for my second miscarriage and that is how I referred to that baby. (I have to say that looking back there were many ways God prepared me and warned my spirit that Janie wasn't going to stay this side of heaven. This is one of those ways.)

Beth means consecrated to God. How precious is that!?! :)

I will admit that the requirements for names has changed as we have gone along. I am a lot more picky now than I was with the first few. I look at the name meanings before deciding if it has a chance. LOL I am also more picky about which family names I will use. I want to use names of people that I want my children to look up to and aspire to be like.

Josiah Mark
Josiah is the Bible and "J" name. Mark is Joey's middle name.
Josiah: fire of the Lord (I pray that he will be on fire for the Lord!)
Mark: warlike (hmmmm... LOL)

Kathryn JoAnn "Katie Jo"
She is named after both of her grandmothers. Joan, pronounced JoAnn, was Joey's mother's name, but she went by "Jo". My mom's name is Kathryn, but she goes by "Kathy". JoAnna is in the Bible. Katie Jo technically doesn't fit all our current criteria either since neither of her names is really in the Bible.
Kathryn: Beloved (How sweet!)
JoAnn: God is gracious

Elisha James "Eli"
I actually took a little time to say ok to Elisha. LOL I prefered Elijah, but Joey likes the prophet Elisha and thinks he is pretty cool. I finally said ok, if we call him Eli. :) James is Joey's dad's name and both of his grandfather's names.
Elisha: God is my salvation (Amen!)
James: one who supplants/ to replace (After reading Kelly's post I find this meaning neat. Eli came after 2 miscarriages.)

Joy Michelle "Joy Schelle"
Joy was named Joy because she would bring Joy to our family after losing Janie Beth. Michelle is obviously my name. LOL It took me a while to warm up to Joey's suggestion that she have my name as her middle name. She has indeed brought Joy to her mommy, Michelle. :)
Joy: joy :)
Michelle: who is like the Lord (I need to begin praying this over her!)

Timothy Joseph "TJ" or Timothy
Joseph is Joey's name. We just like Timothy! He was an amazing man in the Bible! I can only pray that our Timothy with have a love for the Lord like the Timothy in the Bible!
Timothy: honoring God
Joseph: God shall add (another son) (I find this pretty cool!!! God definitely added Timothy. :))

It is funny how all the boys have ended up having both names be Biblical. This was not at all done on purpose! It just so happened that their family names were Biblical. If God decides to give us another baby, and the baby is a girl, then her family name will either be Jane or Beth after her big sister. :) That was also the plan this time, but I don't think Timothy would appreciate having either of those names. ;)

This has been a neat post for me to write! In looking up the meanings of their names, God has shown me ways that I can be praying for each of my children.

My Girls

The TP Queen!!! She is into everything! She is full of personality! She loves to sing and dance. She warms my heart! :) She is a little pistol, and I believe she will be in the same pea pod as her big brother Eli. She loves Josiah and goes to him to pick her up. She gets right in there with the big 3 with no problem!

Miss Imagination! She will quickly try new things, like skating. She is always crafting and making something to give to someone else. She loves to be outside! When outside she is often times in her own world. She has a whole nother world that she imagines. She does it outside mainly, but it comes inside too. She reminds me of me!!! Although, I didn't play with sticks and grass like she does. She is always making something with the onion grass, or cooking it. :) She has gotten into pulling lots of food out of the pantry and spices out of the drawer in order to "make" something. She has a soft compassionate heart, with a fire hidden under it! She is my helper, and I am excited to train her as a young lady!

We do the flowers at church on the Sunday closest to Janie Beth's birthday. This year it was New Year's Day. There are 22 pink flowers for the 22 hours that she lived, and 2 red roses because she would have been 2 years old. :)


It overwhelms me to think that I have been entrusted with raising these girls to be godly young women who follow after God with all their hearts. The world contradicts almost everything that God wants them to be! I am just an ordinary woman that is trying to climb this steep cliff. I pray that God will be extraordinary through me and that He will work around my faults and shortcomings and work wonders in their lives and hearts! I am blessed!

That Ache

The ache of the arms has been prevalent over the last week.
The desire to hold and touch and kiss.
The wonder of what she would be like.
How she would look. I can't even imagine.
It makes my heart skip a beat.
It catches my breath.
Brings a tear to my eye. A smile to my face.

I don't know why the onslaught of emotion right now. There could be several factors I guess. I blogged about meeting her and our time with her this week. It floods my memories again. It makes me long for those days to stand still.

I went to the open house of the new LDRP rooms at the other hospital in town. They are wonderful! The staff is so sweet! The NICU there is even intimate. It was a very blessed tour. Two of the rooms have the saying "Angels danced the day you were born" painted above the cribs. I have an ornament for Janie Beth that says that! It flooded me with her! It made her a part of the day. It makes me long to have one of those rooms with Timothy so that she is a part too.

Going to the hospital got me excited about Timothy's arrival. It reminds me of how different I pray that it is from Janie Beth's. The desire to have my labor and delivery the way I want them this time and just cherish each moment makes me wish I could do hers differently, but then I choose thankfulness instead. God was in control! And He still is! There is also that part of me that wonders if Timothy will be ok. Will I say that the angels danced the day he was born because he was born into heaven? I really do feel like everything is going to go wonderfully with his birth, but I know there are no guarantees, and God is in control.

I am also coming up on 28 wks. That is how far I was when we found out about Janie having TD. I even go to the doctor this week at 28 wks 1 day, just like I did when we saw Dr. F at 28 wks 1 day before going to the specialist. WOW!! God has a way of redeeming!

Joy Michelle's personality is really beginning to show and that makes me wonder all the more how Janie would be now, and what she would have been like at Joy's age. It makes me enjoy my kids more!!! I don't want to forget!

While my arms may ache to hold her and my fingers ache to feel her again, I am so thankful to have the privilege of being Janie Beth's mommy!! I would do it all over again. God has used Janie Beth to bring me on an amazing journey. He is still using her journey to change me. What a precious baby girl! I love you, Janie Beth!!! I miss you dearly!

Father God, thank You for making me Janie Beth's mommy!!! Thank You for bringing me on this amazing journey! As I continue to seek You with all my heart, I pray that You will continue to mold me and heal me on this journey. Thank You for the wonderful time I had with Janie Beth. Thank You for the ability to spend each day with Josiah, Katie Jo, Eli, Joy Schelle, and Timothy! Thank You for Joey and how You used Janie Beth to bring us closer. You are an awesome God! In Jesus' name I pray. Amen

Pigtail Girls!!!

It amazes me just how much hair Katie Jo had at a year old!!! The last pictures was when she was just over a year! Gotta love Joy Schelle's hair in the first pic! She pulled her ponytail out.

Joy Schelle is 1

It is hard to believe that last Wed, Oct 26, Joy Schelle turned 1!!!!! She is still such a joy to be around, although her Karr temper is beginnin to show a little. :) She is still a good little girl. She is getting louder as a talker. LOL She must be heard!

You have grown so much this year! You started at 6 lb 3 oz, 19 in, and  you are now up to 19 lb 5 oz, 28.5 in.

 Eating your birthday breakfast...

You started pulling up just a couple weeks before your birthday. It only took you a little over a day to figure out how to get back down, and within the week you were cruising. :) You will now walk while holding my hands. We are in trouble now! You are having a hard time with the fact that you can't do whatever you want, hence the temper beginning show.

Here you are the first day you pulled up!

 You were a great supporter for your siblings at Upward football and cheerleading.

 You swung at the park for the first time and LOVED it!!! I should have known you would since you loved the swing so much as an infant.

 You ate spaghetti for the first time!! And you had no adverse reaction to tomato! So far you have had no problems with food, but we have not tried milk or egg yet.

 You took your first drive. :) You thought you were hot stuff!

 Perhaps some road rage? LOL She was actually just talking.

 You are fussing because Josiah is in the car too.

 You have allowed your skin to touch the grass. You even crawl in it now!

 Sweet potatoes are your favorite food!

 You went on an Above Rubies retreat with Mommy. It was great! And you behaved pretty good as long as I was with you, or in eye sight.

 You are exploring every part of the house now.

 You flash an awfully cute smile!

 It won't be long and you will be building forts with your siblings. You love outside as much as they do!

 I am so thankful that God let us bring you home to be a part of our family here on earth! You have blessed us beyond measure. I love you, sweetness!

11 Months

Really this is Joy Schelle's 10 & 11 month old catch up because I never wrote her 10 month one. Oops! She weighed 16 lb 11 oz and 26 in at her 9.5 month check up. She has a Karr head and it jumped up, but we aren't concerned at this point. She is just following in Josiah's footsteps. :)

Joy Schelle, you have really come into your personality the last couple months! Your biggest accomplishment is crawling, which you did one week ago today. I was fixing Katie Jo's hair for church and you came crawling down the hallway. You are on the go now. You got where you wanted to go before, but it was by rolling, sitting up, turning around, ect. It would take quite some time for you to accomplish your goals. You are still content to stay in one place for a bit and play even though you are on the go now.

You have become quite the jabber box! Once again following in Josiah's footsteps. :) You "talk" on whatever toy you pick up. The first words out of your mouth on your "phone" are "hi da". You LOVE Dad!!! He isn't allowed to leave a room you are in without acknowledging your presence and giving you some attention. If we are up and he is still in bed, every time you hear the bed move or Dad cough, you say "da". It is so cute! You have stopped saying "ma", but in time I will wish you hadn't remembered it. lol  You have added "bye" to the mix of words and you wave really well now.

You share a room with all your siblings now, and the first night together you misbehaved the most! You were busy busy talking to them all. :) You have been taking 3 naps a day until just this last week. We are now down to 2. You are sleeping better at night too. YEAH!

You have become a food lover. You now eat 3 meals as well as nursing. We just added corn a couple days ago, and you love it! So far you have liked whatever I have put on your plate. You aren't following in Josiah's footsteps on that one, more like Katie Jo and Eli.

You still love outside! You will sit and look out the front door. It won't be long and you'll be out back with your big siblings building forts.

You still bring us lots of joy! I love to squeeze your round body. Your big smile brightens up the room! I can't believe you are almost 1 yr old! I love you sweetness!

Here are some pictures from the last couple months. You will notice that we don't keep bows in our hair very well these days. :)
A rare picture with Mom...

 Yep, I'm short! My favorite toy at church.

 Mom, we just got up!

 They will be partners in crime!

 Cheering Bama on!

 Reading

 Nevermind, let's try osmosis! :)

 Her position while she nurses on the right side! Cracks me up.

 She kept wanting more and made this face every time.

 Precious blue eyes!

 Love my big sister!

My Life

I just went back and read through my blog posts from last year, at least a large percentage of them. What comes to mind after reading them is that this is really my life. Are you sure? Did I really walk through all of that? Am I really this far down the road?

Janie Beth seems like a blink of an eye. Joy Michelle seems like she has always been here. God has done a mighty work in my heart after losing Janie Beth by bringing Joy Michelle into my life. I forgot just how many of Joy's milestones fell on big days for Janie Beth. He really does redeem us!

I realized last night just how much I have let fear come in this pregnancy. It seems as though it is more than with Joy, but I am not sure because I didn't type during the first trimester with her. There are dates this time around that will fall very close to Janie Beth's dates. I will also be pregnant on her days rather than having an infant to hold. The first similarity is a dinner I am going to later this month. The last time I went to this dinner at church I was pregnant with Janie and had no clue of the journey that I would be on. It makes me wonder if the journey I am embarking on will be painful like hers. Yes, this is where my crazy mind goes!!!

I am also fighting fear because I do not go to the OB until the 22nd! That is still 3 wks away!! If you go by the due date they have given me, then I will 11 wks at my appointment. I have never gone in that late. I fear going in and the baby having stopped a few weeks before. I have been there, and I do not want to be there again. In my exhaution I am having a hard time giving things over to God. :/

I cried out to Him tonight before I came and read through my blog. Of course my cries were the same as always. Why do I always find myself in the same boat!?! I want to break down my walls! I want to love and cherish! I want God to create in me a clean and pure heart from nothing because that is all that is in there. I need help because I do not know how to conquer this Promised Land!! He is gracious and He will show me the way! He will help me tear down these walls that I so easily throw up. He has an awesome plan.

I am embarking on a new pregnancy with a new journey that still points back to Janie Beth. God has more healing for me through this journey. I pray that I will embrace this pregnancy and cherish every moment! I haven't been doing that because I figure that if I don't then it won't hurt as much if it doesn't go well. What craziness!! I need to LET GO and LET GOD!!! I wish it was as easy to do as it is to say!

Once again we are diving deeper. I am excited but I also know it is going to be some hard work! I have roots that go down DEEP that need to be pulled up and tossed out. God has a plan for me because He loves me, and it is for my good and His glory! It is awesome!!

Abba Father, thank You for calling me deeper again! I love You and I want nothing more than to fall in love with You more. Take my heart and make it entirely Yours. Thank You for the amazing journey of Janie Beth and Joy Michelle that You continue to bring me on. Thank You for the new journey with this new precious little one that You have placed in my womb. I am blessed beyond measure. I give You my fears. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. Write my faith. May You be glorified through me. Pull out the ugly weeds from my garden by the roots and make my garden the beauty that You intended it to be. And please keep me out of the way! I know I hinder Your work in me more than anything or anyone else. Your will be done in my life and heart! Thank You!!!!!!! 

Tears...

Tears have been so close to the surface for me since Wednesday! Not tears of pain tho; tears of joy. I am completely overwhelmed with emotion. God has brought me on such a journey since we learned of Janie Beth's condition. He has changed me in so many ways! He has called me to the awesome call of motherhood! (Yes, I know I already had 3 children, but I hadn't answered that call yet.) Having Joy Schelle brought me even deeper in my journey as I continued to look at my heart and ask God to make me what He wanted. He knows the desires of my heart, and the fact that He delights in me and wants to give me the desires of my heart brings tears to my eyes!!! He was so gracious to give us Joey Schelle, and I am thankful beyond words that He has chosen to bless my womb again!

I was asked the question if I thought this pregnancy would be easier since having Joy Schelle. Let me tell you, this has been on my mind ever since!!! I have been pondering it in my heart constantly. I think in some ways, maybe many, it will be easier, but I also know that in some ways it will not. Pregnancy is all, almost, that I had with Janie Beth, and there are points in my pregnancy that are hard and flood me with memories! It isn't only Janie Beth's journey that makes pregnancy hard. I have had 2 early miscarriages and I know that I am not exempt from having more. Getting out of the first trimester brings relief, but then the "big" ultrasound looms ahead. It is not a gender u/s for me. It is an is my baby fit to survive outside the womb u/s for me. It is a chance to make sure every part is in fact there and it is working the way it should u/s for me!!! Then, once I hit 28 wks is when Janie Beth's memories really hit. I just try to enjoy and cherish every moment!! I don't want to have any regrets. I am not sure exactly how this journey will go, but I know it will be different that Joy Schelle's pregnancy.

I am filled to overflowing! I have to pray constantly and give things over to God daily, and sometimes hourly. I am still trying to lay all at His feet and completely trust Him. He is the One that is really in control! His plans are good and He will be glorified!!!

Thank You, Jesus! Thank You, Abba! You are awesome and gracious; merciful and loving. I love You! May You be glorified through this pregnancy. May You continue to form this precious little one in Your image. You watch each and every part being formed and make sure everything is exactly as You want. It brings tears to my eyes to know that Your hands are working so majestically in my womb! I stand in awe of You! You are powerful and mighty; You do great and unsearchable things. Thank You for allowing me to be a part of Your amazing plans! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

9 Months Old

9 months! It is one of the "big" milestones in the first year. Hard to believe it has been that long. Joy Schelle is still a sweet happy baby. She talks more now, but it is a quiet little voice. She is sitting up great and manages to move about a tiny bit while sitting. She does roll around some too. She isn't crawling yet, but you are working on figuring out how to get from sitting to laying. You roll around a ton in the bed before going to sleep. I believe you are practicing new tricks. :) Last night you actually stood up while leaning against the stool. I was amazed because you wouldn't stand up for the longest time when we were holding you up. You stood there with your bootie sticking out like you were trying to sit down! It was so cute!! (really wish I had a pic!) You are still nursing and getting bits of banana or apple.

You have a great big smile! You are a precious little girl. The last couple days you have hugged me tight when I picked you up. I LOVE it! We are so blessed to have you in our family.

Here are your pics from the last month.
9 months old

 She still  doesn't reach the floor. :)

 Love Nana's bed.

 Love these tiny feet! They are still a size 2.

 Having fun at Nana's while Mom and Dad went out.

 Watching the Braves at Nana's

 She was having a ball with the covers of Eli's pallet at Nana's.

After loading these I realized that every one of them is at Nana and Poppa's house! Can you tell we have spent lots of time over there this summer. LOL There has been quite a bit of swimming going on, and we spent most of the last week there because our a/c was broken at home.