So, here I sit on another Wed night pouring my heart out to God. You see, Joey is leading the College Bible study at church on Wed nights from 8:30-10, so I have plenty of God time after the kids go to bed. I miss Joey being here, but I am enjoying these special times with God. They do not happen often enough, and that is all my fault! Something I need to work on, and I am hoping the clocks moving back and getting the sun up before 7:30 will help with that. :)
Anyways... I was pouring out my heart again. I was telling God how weary I am of the waiting and wandering. This desert is getting old. Every time it looks like we are coming up on land, it turns out to be a mirage. As we walk along the hall and knock on each door it turns out they are all locked. Will it ever be the real thing? I pleaded and begged that God would just show us the next step. I told Him that I feel like He is right there and I can feel His breathe, but not His arms. It is like when you are kid and your parents are teaching you to swim and they keep backing up because they know you can go further. That is exactly what I feel like God is doing. He keeps backing up pushing me to come further. I need endurance and perseverance to finish this race!
I asked God to speak to me through His Word, well, beg would be a better word. LOL And you know what!?! He did!!! I decided last week that I would start reading through Psalms, but start in the back because I never make it all the way through. :) Joey suggested starting in the 5th book of Psalms (it is divided up into 5 books). So, I have been reading through Psalm 107 the last few nights. I opened it up, and low and behold here is what the next verse said...
And He led them forth by the right way, that they might go to a city for a dwelling place. Ps 107:7
He will lead us in the right way!!! He will bring us out of this wilderness and into a city, our promised land, where we can dwell and serve with Him!
Let me back up to verse 4 so you can get the whole effect. I am telling you this Psalm is right where I am, and I have only made it through the first 9 verses!
They wandered in the wilderness in a desolate way; they found no city to dwell in. Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them. Then they cried out ot the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them out of their distresses. And He led them forthe by the right way, that they might go to a city for a dwelling place. Ps 107:4-7
But, you can't stop there! Verse 8 tells us to be thankful! I definitely expressed my thanks after reading verse 7 before I even looked at verse 8.
Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men! For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness. Ps 107:8-9
One of my sacrifices right now in the wilderness is thanksgiving. I am to be thankful when it is hard to be thankful! The thing is there is so much to be thankful for if we just take the time to look!! He is doing wonderful works in our midst daily, just His provision for our family is an amazing work! He will satisfy our longing souls more than we could ever imagine. He is just awesome like that. He loves me! Jesus knows my name. It is written on His palm because He is my Savior! Thank You, Jesus!!!
Abba, Abba! Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that name. Master, Savior, Jesus, like the fragrance after the rain. Just wispering Your name brings a peace to my heart. Thank You for meeting me again right where I am. No, You didn't show me the next step to take. But, You did show me Your promise that You will lead me in the right way. You will bring us to a city to dwell in. May You continue to draw us closer. I want to love You, Jesus, more and more. Show what I am to be doing as I wait. May I not waste this time. Thank You for showing me that the first thing I am to be doing is trusting You! You are the Author and Finisher of my faith, and in You I put my trust. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.