A Tall Order!
But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land from before you, then it hsall be that those whom you let remain shall be irritants in your eyes and thorns in your sides, and they shall harass you in the land where you dwell. Numbers 33:55
As we are entering our Promised Land and fighting the battles to conquer it, we must drive out the inhabitants completely! There will be no short-changing God's orders! If we don't go at this wholeheartedly, then it will come back to bite us in the bootie later. OUCH! I would rather not have to deal with that.
As God calls us to change things, we must change them wholeheartedly. With our whole hearts we have sought You; Oh, let us not wander from Your commandments! (Ps 119:10) I cannot bargain with God. I must do exactly as He says.
Part of this conquering is being pruned!
"and every branch that bears fruit He pruned that it may bear more fruit."(John 15:2b)
Pruning hurts and if we don't completely (wholeheartedly) pull those bad parts off then they will come back and attack us later! God is pruning me through this pregnancy. I really can't tell you much about my pregnancy with Joy Schelle because I went through it in a daze, but I am much more aware this time! The main thing that God is pruning is fear!
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18)
I have built my walls back up :(. I have not allowed myself to love my husband and children, and even God and Jesus. This time I am going to conquer these walls completely! I am asking God to perfect His love in me! I am wholeheartedly letting go. I want to cherish each and every moment. I do not want to fear losing someone, so then I pull back so that it won't hurt too much when I do lose them. I don't want to be hurt. But, in pulling back, I am missing out! I am tired of missing out! I have had periods of time where I cherish and periods of time where I miss out, and I am tired of it! Therefore, I am setting out into this battle to conquer fear completely and drive it out of my Promised Land and family. I do not want this to be an inheretance that I leave my children!
"For whoever has, to him more will be given, and he will have abundance; but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him." (Matt. 13:12)
What am I doing with what God has given me!?! Lately I have been pushing it all away; just going through the motions. I want the abundance that God has waiting for me! I want to be faithful with what I am given. The pruning brings abundance!
I do not want to be like the Israelites!!
"and they brought back word to us, saying, 'It is a good land which the Lord our God is giving us.' Nevertheless you would not go up, but rebelled against the command of the Lord your God;" (Duet. 1:25b-26)
Nevertheless!?! They knew the land was good, nevertheless they wouldn't go!! What!?! How many times does God show me a better way but I'm not willing to go because it looks too difficult to conquer!?! I have been telling God that it looks great to live a life without fear, but it will be too difficult to really conquer it. I just push it down until it comes back up. How silly does it sound to fear conquering fear!?! Seriously? But, in essence that is what I have been doing.
But, look at this amazing promise!!!
Then [Moses] said to you, 'Do not be terrified, or afraid fo them. The Lord your God, who goes before you, He will fight for you, according to all He did for you in Egypt before your eyes. (Deut. 1:29-30)
God goes before me! He fights for me! The sad thing is, that even after the Israelites were reminded of all that God had done for them, they still weren't willing to go and wouldn't believe. I have been just like the Israelites! Ouch!!
In my quest to wholeheartedly love God, Jesus, and my family, I am going to wholeheartedly conquer fear through the perfect love of God! :)
Thank You, Abba, for Your longsuffering! Thank You for Your mercy and grace! Forgive me for running away for so long, even when You had proven Yourself in other things. I am still a little scared to let go because it opens me up, but it will also free me. May You continue to go before me and fight for me! Thank You for taking the time to go with me into battle, for I know that without You I can do nothing!!! Cleanse my heart and make me a new creation of love. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.