Here is a picture of our cutie! For some crazy reason blogger loaded it sideways! The head is on the right.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
April 25, 2012
That is our official due date!!! We are 9 wks 1 day today. Baby waved at us during the u/s :). We saw both arms and legs and everything looks good. I really could cry! Tears of gratitude that God gave me the desire of my heart. Praying all continues to go well.
Here is a picture of our cutie! For some crazy reason blogger loaded it sideways! The head is on the right.
Here is a picture of our cutie! For some crazy reason blogger loaded it sideways! The head is on the right.
Friday, September 2, 2011
My Life
I just went back and read through my blog posts from last year, at least a large percentage of them. What comes to mind after reading them is that this is really my life. Are you sure? Did I really walk through all of that? Am I really this far down the road?
Janie Beth seems like a blink of an eye. Joy Michelle seems like she has always been here. God has done a mighty work in my heart after losing Janie Beth by bringing Joy Michelle into my life. I forgot just how many of Joy's milestones fell on big days for Janie Beth. He really does redeem us!
I realized last night just how much I have let fear come in this pregnancy. It seems as though it is more than with Joy, but I am not sure because I didn't type during the first trimester with her. There are dates this time around that will fall very close to Janie Beth's dates. I will also be pregnant on her days rather than having an infant to hold. The first similarity is a dinner I am going to later this month. The last time I went to this dinner at church I was pregnant with Janie and had no clue of the journey that I would be on. It makes me wonder if the journey I am embarking on will be painful like hers. Yes, this is where my crazy mind goes!!!
I am also fighting fear because I do not go to the OB until the 22nd! That is still 3 wks away!! If you go by the due date they have given me, then I will 11 wks at my appointment. I have never gone in that late. I fear going in and the baby having stopped a few weeks before. I have been there, and I do not want to be there again. In my exhaution I am having a hard time giving things over to God. :/
I cried out to Him tonight before I came and read through my blog. Of course my cries were the same as always. Why do I always find myself in the same boat!?! I want to break down my walls! I want to love and cherish! I want God to create in me a clean and pure heart from nothing because that is all that is in there. I need help because I do not know how to conquer this Promised Land!! He is gracious and He will show me the way! He will help me tear down these walls that I so easily throw up. He has an awesome plan.
I am embarking on a new pregnancy with a new journey that still points back to Janie Beth. God has more healing for me through this journey. I pray that I will embrace this pregnancy and cherish every moment! I haven't been doing that because I figure that if I don't then it won't hurt as much if it doesn't go well. What craziness!! I need to LET GO and LET GOD!!! I wish it was as easy to do as it is to say!
Once again we are diving deeper. I am excited but I also know it is going to be some hard work! I have roots that go down DEEP that need to be pulled up and tossed out. God has a plan for me because He loves me, and it is for my good and His glory! It is awesome!!
Abba Father, thank You for calling me deeper again! I love You and I want nothing more than to fall in love with You more. Take my heart and make it entirely Yours. Thank You for the amazing journey of Janie Beth and Joy Michelle that You continue to bring me on. Thank You for the new journey with this new precious little one that You have placed in my womb. I am blessed beyond measure. I give You my fears. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. Write my faith. May You be glorified through me. Pull out the ugly weeds from my garden by the roots and make my garden the beauty that You intended it to be. And please keep me out of the way! I know I hinder Your work in me more than anything or anyone else. Your will be done in my life and heart! Thank You!!!!!!!
Janie Beth seems like a blink of an eye. Joy Michelle seems like she has always been here. God has done a mighty work in my heart after losing Janie Beth by bringing Joy Michelle into my life. I forgot just how many of Joy's milestones fell on big days for Janie Beth. He really does redeem us!
I realized last night just how much I have let fear come in this pregnancy. It seems as though it is more than with Joy, but I am not sure because I didn't type during the first trimester with her. There are dates this time around that will fall very close to Janie Beth's dates. I will also be pregnant on her days rather than having an infant to hold. The first similarity is a dinner I am going to later this month. The last time I went to this dinner at church I was pregnant with Janie and had no clue of the journey that I would be on. It makes me wonder if the journey I am embarking on will be painful like hers. Yes, this is where my crazy mind goes!!!
I am also fighting fear because I do not go to the OB until the 22nd! That is still 3 wks away!! If you go by the due date they have given me, then I will 11 wks at my appointment. I have never gone in that late. I fear going in and the baby having stopped a few weeks before. I have been there, and I do not want to be there again. In my exhaution I am having a hard time giving things over to God. :/
I cried out to Him tonight before I came and read through my blog. Of course my cries were the same as always. Why do I always find myself in the same boat!?! I want to break down my walls! I want to love and cherish! I want God to create in me a clean and pure heart from nothing because that is all that is in there. I need help because I do not know how to conquer this Promised Land!! He is gracious and He will show me the way! He will help me tear down these walls that I so easily throw up. He has an awesome plan.
I am embarking on a new pregnancy with a new journey that still points back to Janie Beth. God has more healing for me through this journey. I pray that I will embrace this pregnancy and cherish every moment! I haven't been doing that because I figure that if I don't then it won't hurt as much if it doesn't go well. What craziness!! I need to LET GO and LET GOD!!! I wish it was as easy to do as it is to say!
Once again we are diving deeper. I am excited but I also know it is going to be some hard work! I have roots that go down DEEP that need to be pulled up and tossed out. God has a plan for me because He loves me, and it is for my good and His glory! It is awesome!!
Abba Father, thank You for calling me deeper again! I love You and I want nothing more than to fall in love with You more. Take my heart and make it entirely Yours. Thank You for the amazing journey of Janie Beth and Joy Michelle that You continue to bring me on. Thank You for the new journey with this new precious little one that You have placed in my womb. I am blessed beyond measure. I give You my fears. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. Write my faith. May You be glorified through me. Pull out the ugly weeds from my garden by the roots and make my garden the beauty that You intended it to be. And please keep me out of the way! I know I hinder Your work in me more than anything or anyone else. Your will be done in my life and heart! Thank You!!!!!!!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Tears...
Tears have been so close to the surface for me since Wednesday! Not tears of pain tho; tears of joy. I am completely overwhelmed with emotion. God has brought me on such a journey since we learned of Janie Beth's condition. He has changed me in so many ways! He has called me to the awesome call of motherhood! (Yes, I know I already had 3 children, but I hadn't answered that call yet.) Having Joy Schelle brought me even deeper in my journey as I continued to look at my heart and ask God to make me what He wanted. He knows the desires of my heart, and the fact that He delights in me and wants to give me the desires of my heart brings tears to my eyes!!! He was so gracious to give us Joey Schelle, and I am thankful beyond words that He has chosen to bless my womb again!
I was asked the question if I thought this pregnancy would be easier since having Joy Schelle. Let me tell you, this has been on my mind ever since!!! I have been pondering it in my heart constantly. I think in some ways, maybe many, it will be easier, but I also know that in some ways it will not. Pregnancy is all, almost, that I had with Janie Beth, and there are points in my pregnancy that are hard and flood me with memories! It isn't only Janie Beth's journey that makes pregnancy hard. I have had 2 early miscarriages and I know that I am not exempt from having more. Getting out of the first trimester brings relief, but then the "big" ultrasound looms ahead. It is not a gender u/s for me. It is an is my baby fit to survive outside the womb u/s for me. It is a chance to make sure every part is in fact there and it is working the way it should u/s for me!!! Then, once I hit 28 wks is when Janie Beth's memories really hit. I just try to enjoy and cherish every moment!! I don't want to have any regrets. I am not sure exactly how this journey will go, but I know it will be different that Joy Schelle's pregnancy.
I am filled to overflowing! I have to pray constantly and give things over to God daily, and sometimes hourly. I am still trying to lay all at His feet and completely trust Him. He is the One that is really in control! His plans are good and He will be glorified!!!
Thank You, Jesus! Thank You, Abba! You are awesome and gracious; merciful and loving. I love You! May You be glorified through this pregnancy. May You continue to form this precious little one in Your image. You watch each and every part being formed and make sure everything is exactly as You want. It brings tears to my eyes to know that Your hands are working so majestically in my womb! I stand in awe of You! You are powerful and mighty; You do great and unsearchable things. Thank You for allowing me to be a part of Your amazing plans! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
I was asked the question if I thought this pregnancy would be easier since having Joy Schelle. Let me tell you, this has been on my mind ever since!!! I have been pondering it in my heart constantly. I think in some ways, maybe many, it will be easier, but I also know that in some ways it will not. Pregnancy is all, almost, that I had with Janie Beth, and there are points in my pregnancy that are hard and flood me with memories! It isn't only Janie Beth's journey that makes pregnancy hard. I have had 2 early miscarriages and I know that I am not exempt from having more. Getting out of the first trimester brings relief, but then the "big" ultrasound looms ahead. It is not a gender u/s for me. It is an is my baby fit to survive outside the womb u/s for me. It is a chance to make sure every part is in fact there and it is working the way it should u/s for me!!! Then, once I hit 28 wks is when Janie Beth's memories really hit. I just try to enjoy and cherish every moment!! I don't want to have any regrets. I am not sure exactly how this journey will go, but I know it will be different that Joy Schelle's pregnancy.
I am filled to overflowing! I have to pray constantly and give things over to God daily, and sometimes hourly. I am still trying to lay all at His feet and completely trust Him. He is the One that is really in control! His plans are good and He will be glorified!!!
Thank You, Jesus! Thank You, Abba! You are awesome and gracious; merciful and loving. I love You! May You be glorified through this pregnancy. May You continue to form this precious little one in Your image. You watch each and every part being formed and make sure everything is exactly as You want. It brings tears to my eyes to know that Your hands are working so majestically in my womb! I stand in awe of You! You are powerful and mighty; You do great and unsearchable things. Thank You for allowing me to be a part of Your amazing plans! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Joey's Present
Today is Joey's birthday!!! :) We made him pancakes for breakfast. We washed his car. He grilled steaks for lunch (yes, we made him cook on his birthday :)).
I also gave him a present. It was a stick that I peed on!!!! ;) Who could ask for a better present than that!?! God is filling Joey's quiver. We are blessed! We are growing!! Isn't that our word for the year! Who knew the amazing ways God had in store for us to grow.
Yes, we are excited! Yes, we know how it happens. Yes, we are trying to make our own sports team. ;) God is gracious and we are thankful! We will bring in the season of Spring with new life! Joey got to find out on his birthday, and I just might get an awesome birthday present too! :) (My b-day is April 4, and we should be due April 15-20 or so.)
As always, your prayers are appreciated. Pregnancy draws me closer to Janie Beth because the majority my memories with her are pregnancy memories. I am so thankful that God saw fit to fill my womb again. He has called me to the high calling of Mother. There are no words to describe how that makes me feel. I am blessed beyond measure. I didn't realize just how blessed I was until I had Janie Beth and felt the true calling of motherhood upon my life.
Joey Karr, thank you for being my beloved!!! Thank you for being an awesome Daddy to our kids!! Thank you for letting God have control. I wouldn't want to walk this hard, but amazing journey with anyone else. God is big and doing awesome things in our midst. I love you!!! I am so glad He formed you in your mother's womb. :) Hard to believe that God even thought of me while He was making you. He is amazing like that!!
I also gave him a present. It was a stick that I peed on!!!! ;) Who could ask for a better present than that!?! God is filling Joey's quiver. We are blessed! We are growing!! Isn't that our word for the year! Who knew the amazing ways God had in store for us to grow.
Yes, we are excited! Yes, we know how it happens. Yes, we are trying to make our own sports team. ;) God is gracious and we are thankful! We will bring in the season of Spring with new life! Joey got to find out on his birthday, and I just might get an awesome birthday present too! :) (My b-day is April 4, and we should be due April 15-20 or so.)
As always, your prayers are appreciated. Pregnancy draws me closer to Janie Beth because the majority my memories with her are pregnancy memories. I am so thankful that God saw fit to fill my womb again. He has called me to the high calling of Mother. There are no words to describe how that makes me feel. I am blessed beyond measure. I didn't realize just how blessed I was until I had Janie Beth and felt the true calling of motherhood upon my life.
Joey Karr, thank you for being my beloved!!! Thank you for being an awesome Daddy to our kids!! Thank you for letting God have control. I wouldn't want to walk this hard, but amazing journey with anyone else. God is big and doing awesome things in our midst. I love you!!! I am so glad He formed you in your mother's womb. :) Hard to believe that God even thought of me while He was making you. He is amazing like that!!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Water
It is a nice Saturday and the door bell rings... Our neighbor was nice enough to come and tell us that there was water shooting out of our front yard! Last year this happened and the utility company just put a temporary fix on it and said they would be back in a couple weeks to finish. Well, they never came! The temporary fix wasn't fixing the problem anymore. We gave them a call and they came out eventually and fixed it up. Meanwhile, while we waited 2 more folks stopped to tell us about the water spraying out of our front yard and the kids had fun in the free sprinkler!!! They got to play in water twice Saturday because we played in the rain that morning before the thunder came. :) Here are some pics, but they aren't that good because they were taken on my phone. Our camera will be mailed in this week, hopefully, and prayerfully they will fix it!!
Joey moved his car out of the way.
The gutter pool!!!! LOL
Born Again
Josiah was born again into the Family of God on July 4, 2011!!! :) God is good!!! He was baptized 2 wks later on July 24. We followed church with a cook out at our house for immediate family members. It just so happened that Joey's oldest brother, John, and his wife, Suzanne, happed to come into town on the 23rd; and Joy, Heather, Sam, and Eliana were in town too!! We were only missing Judy, Niles, and their clan due to church responsibilities. I had no idea my house could hold 25 people!! LOL We had a good time.
Joey and I are so proud of Josiah. We are excited to see what all God has planned for his life. He is very keen on whether you are going to Heaven or Hell right now. :) He even pronounced to Eli that he was going to Hell. I had to explain that Eli is only 4. ;)
Dear Jesus, I thank You for dying that Josiah might have life! I thank You for writing his faith and opening his eyes. May You continue to mold him and prepare him for Your calling on his life. May the fruit of the Holy Spirit begin even now to be sown and grown. May Josiah fall head over heals in love with You and live a life of wholehearted devotion for You. Lord, may he be a godly witness to his siblings and all those around him. May You always be there to support him as his name says, Jehovah supports. Lord, I place him in Your amazing, loving, capable hands. May You make Josiah into a man of God after Your own heart. Thank You for calling me to be his mother!!! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Here are some pictures from his baptism...
Joey had the honor of baptizing him.
Waiting
Thank You Abba for saving my first born son!!! We love you, Josiah!!
Joey and I are so proud of Josiah. We are excited to see what all God has planned for his life. He is very keen on whether you are going to Heaven or Hell right now. :) He even pronounced to Eli that he was going to Hell. I had to explain that Eli is only 4. ;)
Dear Jesus, I thank You for dying that Josiah might have life! I thank You for writing his faith and opening his eyes. May You continue to mold him and prepare him for Your calling on his life. May the fruit of the Holy Spirit begin even now to be sown and grown. May Josiah fall head over heals in love with You and live a life of wholehearted devotion for You. Lord, may he be a godly witness to his siblings and all those around him. May You always be there to support him as his name says, Jehovah supports. Lord, I place him in Your amazing, loving, capable hands. May You make Josiah into a man of God after Your own heart. Thank You for calling me to be his mother!!! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Here are some pictures from his baptism...
Joey had the honor of baptizing him.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
GOD
Thank YOU, Abba!!!
Thank You for the storm! Thank You for making a way! Thank You for loving me! Thank You for washing me clean through this storm! Thank You that the lightning and thunder are breaking me down and giving You the freedom to mold me as You see fit! Thank You for the rain that You have brought into my life. Thank You for loving me enough to bring the storm and to take the time to revamp this old piece of pottery that was useless! May I only be usefull through Your strength! Father, I need You. Thank You for bringing me this far. I know the storm isn't over and this won't be the last storm I will walk through, but I thank You for being right beside me the whole time and cheering me on and beckoning me to come closer. Thank You for calling me to be Janie Beth's mother. Thank You for calling me to mother Josiah, Katie Jo, Eli, and Joy Schelle. Thank You for calling me to be Joey's wife. Thank You for calling me at all to do anything! I never could have imagined all that You have done in me. I needed a Savior more than I could have ever realized. I cannot put into words how thankful I am for Janie Beth and the amazing journey she has brought me on. Neither can I put into words how thankful I am that You were gracious enough to lend me Joy Schelle to raise. Thank You for the journey Joey and I, and the kids, are on with the evangelism ministry and whatever else You have in store for us. We can't imagine the wonderful things You have planned for us. In the storm it is hard to see, but I will look back to the rainbows You have provided and I will believe. Thank You for loving my family and bring us through this storm. Make us what You want us. Make our desires Your desires. May we be a family after Your own heart. May we fall in love with You! Thank You for always being there for us! You are the same yesterday, today, and forever!!!! You are great and mighty!!! You are awesome!!! THANK YOU!!!!! Please break my chains completely and set me completely free. Thank You for Your grace! Thank You for Your mercy! Thank You for being I AM! You are all we will ever need. Thank You for my family! Thank You for calling us deeper! We knew it wouldn't be easy, but it is blessed, even if the blessings are different than expected. May we never miss one of Your blessings!
Lord, break this fallow ground. Circumcise my heart. Be big! I want to sow bountifully so that Your kingdom will reap bountifully!! I love You, Jesus, shine through me.
Thank You, Abba!!! Thank You Jesus!!
Thank You for the storm! Thank You for making a way! Thank You for loving me! Thank You for washing me clean through this storm! Thank You that the lightning and thunder are breaking me down and giving You the freedom to mold me as You see fit! Thank You for the rain that You have brought into my life. Thank You for loving me enough to bring the storm and to take the time to revamp this old piece of pottery that was useless! May I only be usefull through Your strength! Father, I need You. Thank You for bringing me this far. I know the storm isn't over and this won't be the last storm I will walk through, but I thank You for being right beside me the whole time and cheering me on and beckoning me to come closer. Thank You for calling me to be Janie Beth's mother. Thank You for calling me to mother Josiah, Katie Jo, Eli, and Joy Schelle. Thank You for calling me to be Joey's wife. Thank You for calling me at all to do anything! I never could have imagined all that You have done in me. I needed a Savior more than I could have ever realized. I cannot put into words how thankful I am for Janie Beth and the amazing journey she has brought me on. Neither can I put into words how thankful I am that You were gracious enough to lend me Joy Schelle to raise. Thank You for the journey Joey and I, and the kids, are on with the evangelism ministry and whatever else You have in store for us. We can't imagine the wonderful things You have planned for us. In the storm it is hard to see, but I will look back to the rainbows You have provided and I will believe. Thank You for loving my family and bring us through this storm. Make us what You want us. Make our desires Your desires. May we be a family after Your own heart. May we fall in love with You! Thank You for always being there for us! You are the same yesterday, today, and forever!!!! You are great and mighty!!! You are awesome!!! THANK YOU!!!!! Please break my chains completely and set me completely free. Thank You for Your grace! Thank You for Your mercy! Thank You for being I AM! You are all we will ever need. Thank You for my family! Thank You for calling us deeper! We knew it wouldn't be easy, but it is blessed, even if the blessings are different than expected. May we never miss one of Your blessings!
Lord, break this fallow ground. Circumcise my heart. Be big! I want to sow bountifully so that Your kingdom will reap bountifully!! I love You, Jesus, shine through me.
Thank You, Abba!!! Thank You Jesus!!
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