15 Months



WOW!!! It is hard to believe it has been 15 months! It hit me yesterday that it was 15 months, and it even fell on the same day. It has been 15 months since I held you for the first time and since you met your Heavenly Father. I still miss you so much! You are on my mind and in my heart every single day. Joy Michelle resembles you, and I often wonder what you would have looked like at her age and how bright your face would have looked with a precious smile on it. But, one day I will see!!! I know you are smiling right now as I type this because you are in the most wonderful place and you are so happy and whole. I can almost feel you in my arms, it is like the breeze. Katie Jo has begun asking you to give God a hug for us. :) We have often prayed for Him to give you a hug, but what a special thought it is that you can hug God for us. To know that you are in His presence and safe in His arms is so comforting!!! Once we get some warmer weather, I hope to go to your grave and sit a while. I have missed doing that. I have started lighting a candle in the kitchen to remind me of you. I hope to get one that is fake so that it will last longer. I have begun to associate the vanilla scent with you since the candle is vanilla sented. It brings a smile to my face whenever I catch a wiff of the vanilla. :)  I was thinking about the statement that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all the other day, and I realized just how true that is! I am so thankful that I got to love you, and still love you, even though I lost you. My life wouldn't be the same if I had never loved you at all! You are my precious heavenly baby girl, and I will be forever grateful to have the privilege of calling you my daughter! I love you!!!

Thank You, Abba, for opening my heart to a love that I never could have imagined. Your sacrifice and love for me is all the more real after losing a child. I love my family deeper. You have blessed me beyond measure and in ways I never thought possible! I love You!!! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

5 Months

Yep, it has been 5 months! Joy Michelle is beginning to show her personality more these days. She has started talking/gabbering more. She is a quiet talker though, and she normally only has a couple times a day where she talks for an extended period of time. She is rolling over from her belly to her back. She is playing with toys. She is still a good sleeper most of the time. She is my little butter ball. :) Short and round. Just right for squeezing.

She has started with eczema on her face, which probably means she will have food allergies like Eli. I am trying to cut dairy and now wheat as well from my diet since she is nursing. She has found her lips. LOL She makes all kinds of faces while sucking on them.

Joy Michelle, you have blessed me so much! Your siblings are still in love with you. You love to sit up against Daddy's pillow on the bed by his desk and be with him. You smile whenever he is around. You are a Mommy's girl even though you have Daddy wrapped around your finger. You did give him grief while Mommy, Josiah, and Katie Jo were at a play because you wouldn't take the bottle and just screamed. I won't be leaving you anymore until you have started solids, or it is just a quick run right after you eat. I have had several people lately tell me that you look like Janie Beth. It is especially noticeable around your mouth. It warms my heart. Thank You, Abba, for blessing me and my family with Joy Michelle!!!

She wasn't real pleased to have her picture taken with Little Janie this month, but I thought it was cute. :)

 You could get your feet higher than your head before you learned to roll over.

 You found your feet...

Eli Funnies

Eli is the clown at our house. Sometimes this is on purpose and often times he just says stuff that cracks me up! He has been full of it lately! So, for your enjoyment and my memories here are some of the latest...

~~He, out of the blue, runs in the kitchen and anounces to me that "one day I will be a lion, one day"

~~One evening we are sitting on the couch and he says, "when I grow up and I am a girl..." We then had a discussion about how God made him a boy and he would always be one.

~~The other night I was going to do some things with some friends and the 3 big kids were going with Joey to my sister's softball game. Eli said that it wasn't fair, and then he follows it with "well, life's not fair." He says this to himself sitting on the couch. Maybe the phrase life's not fair is said quite a bit around here. LOL

~~My mom was opening a Capri Sun for Eli and she poked the straw through the entire thing, and he goes "awesome".

~~Joey was playing Sudoku on the computer and Eli was asking him what he was doing. Joey responded and Eli says, "that just freaks me out."

Here is a picture that is totally Eli...

He brings humor everyday! I don't know what I would do without him!! He had on bright red shorts the other day with a long sleeve Alabama shirt that was crimson. I told him to go get another shirt that was more red before we left the house. He come back with a completely red shirt. LOL Of course, they weren't the same color red, so we went and searched together. :)

I really want to type up our every day stories more so that I can remember them 20 yrs down the road, so hopefully we will bring more humor to you soon. 

A Book Review

I was given the opportunity to read Melinda's book, How I Forgave My Molester, a month or so ago. WOW! Forgiveness has really become a taboo subject nowadays. We feel we are entitled and forgiveness requires humility. Melinda was molested as a child by someone close to her family. She shares her journey and how she forgave him. I cannot imagine having to forgive someone for something so horrendous! Melinda's book is a true testimony of how God can work mighty things in us when we allow Him. Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. This is a true testimony of how God does far beyond our expections!! If you know someone who has walked a similar road as Melinda, I would recommend reading this book. It is a quick read, but a powerful read. Her site Traling After God also has amazing resources for someone walking this journey. Thank you, Melinda, for the opportunity to read your story and for the testimony that is your journey!

Prayers Please

This is kind of vague, but we really need some prayers this week. God has been moving, and has given us a call. We need prayers for His will to be done and for Him to move the hurdles. We need prayers for the hearts of those involved in the decision making. We serve a BIG God!!! I believe He can do amazing things!!

He doesn't call us to just sit and wait tho. We are to take action. In this case, our current action is persistent prayer. Prayer does more than we could ever know!!

I also need prayer to write Janie Beth's story. I have been asked to share it and having Joy Michelle after her. It will be about God's grace and redemption.

God is working in my heart and changing my desires. He has molded me into a person I never thought I would be. He is still molding me. I feel as though He has me in the Refiner's fire right now. It is a somewhat lonely place to be, but He is close beside me! Once again, He is changing my heart and my desires. He is asking me questions that I don't like how I answer.

Kristi's pastor asked the following questions a couple weeks ago, and they have been on my mind a lot.
1.According to your convictions: in order, what do you feel should be the top five priorities in your life?


2.According to the actual outflow of your time: in order, what really are the top five priorities in your life?

WOW!!! That is convicting! I have begun to look around my house and in myself and asking the question, how does this glorify God.

I have been reading "The Seasons of a Mother's Heart" by Sally Clarkson. Amazing!!! She has been talking about building your house. What seeds will I have to plant? What fruit are they going to bear? What is the cost of my building? What am I trying to build? What foundation am I building on?

What makes up a foundation on the Rock versus a foundation on the sand?
This question really stuck out to me. To build on the Rock, I need to lay a foundation of faith, prayer, the Word, hope, love, the fruits of the Spirit, communication. To build on the sand is much easier! Building on the sand doesn't require any effort, just stick them in front of the tv, computer, electronic game, and hope that they are somewhat moral when they leave your house. Building on the Rock takes time, effort; it takes a plan. I have to know what we are building on and what the building is supposed to look like. It will take time and hours on my knees. I must parent on my knees!! What is  the main room that I am trying to build? Loving God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. What will it cost me? My heart, soul, mind, and strength. Whatever I am trying to build it will cost me exactly that. It will cost me the humility to do it myself first. Let me tell you, it is going to cost a lot because I have a far way to go! But, that is ok! I have counted the cost and I am still going to answer the call to change my heritage and raise children that Love God, love others, live lives of faith in the Lord Jesus, and make war on the floor. Deuteronomy 30:6 is the verse I am claiming!!! "And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live." My cost will be the circumcision of my own heart. A cost I am more than willing to take because it is my desire.

Well, I kind of got off the topic that I came on to type about. LOL Not the first time and won't be the last. :)

If you think about us, please pray for God to be big!!! I am claiming Eph 3:20! He is able to do "exceedingly abundantly above all I could ever ask or think."

4 Months Old

Joy Michelle has passed 4 months now. She is a true Mommy's baby. :) Even if she is in a carrier, she wants to face in and not out. She is still easy going and just goes with the flow. She gets up around 3 or 3:30 in the morning to eat, but is sleeping a good 12 hours or so at night. She isn't rolling over yet. She is content to just be. She got in the saucer for the first time this week and enjoys sitting in it. She still loves the swing. She also loves to take showers. :) At her appointment she was 13 lb 3.5 oz (40%) and 23 in (10%). She is short and round. I forgot to get her picture this month with her Janie Bear, but I still got some cute 4 month pics. :)

Big Smile

 Little Smile

 Shooting you with my eyes. LOL

 I am so done with this...

 Sweetness

 Happy Girl

My favorite past time

 Ah!

 Sucking my thumb

 Mario Kart

 With my cousin Gwyn

Forever in Our Hearts

Here is Janie Beth's newest flag. :)

Janie Beth will forever be in my heart! She is on my mind everyday. As God is working in my heart, she is all the closer to my heart and thoughts. I missed her more deeply in February than I expected. I think it just hits me sometimes as I am holding Joy Schelle and caring for her. It hit me Thursday night as I was shopping at the local consignment sale for the kids summer clothes. I wondered what size Janie Beth would be wearing this summer. I pictured her in a cute little sundress toddling around. I even bought a dress for Joy Michelle that I wanted so desperately to buy for Janie Beth last year after she passed away. I still have moments and days, but overall I am doing well. I miss her terribly, but I am not consumed with sadness. It is hard to believe it has been 14 months. :/ Life keeps going. I am thankful for her spot at the cemetary. It is nice to be able to take care of something for her. I love going to Hobby Lobby looking for just the right things to decorate her grave. It brings me comfort. One day we will own a house, and I will have Janie Beth's garden to care for and bring me comfort as well. I love you, baby girl!!!!