Live It, Walk the Walk

I was challenged at church in Sunday school and in the worship service this past Sunday.

1 Peter 3:15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you.

Woa! Am I ready to give a defense for why I have hope despite my circumstances? Where does my hope come from? Many people would look at my life and think that I must not grieve. They do not understand how I can have hope when I have a heavenly baby and we are out of work. It is in the hard times that we are challenged to live out our faith. You have to live it during the good times in order to have it to live in the hard times, but living out your faith in good and bad times differs.

I thought about what I would say if someone asked me where my hope comes from. As far as Janie Beth goes, I have hope because I will see her again. Do you know why I have that hope? It is because I know Jesus died for me and for her. I know that I am a sinner and I asked Jesus to come into my heart and forgive me of my sins. Because of the sacrifice God and Jesus made, I will one day be in heaven and hold my baby girl. I have hope because I have seen how much she has impacted my life. I have hope because I know her life was worth something and had/has a purpose.
As far as not having a job right now, I have hope because I am in the Word and I know God's promises. My hope doesn't come from what man can do for me. It comes from what God can do for me. God has done amazing things in my life before I even knew He was there. He has provided for us the entire journey. I hope in the promise that God "works all things together for good for those who love the Lord". I hope in the promise that God will never leave me nor forsake me. I hope because God is my Abba, and He takes better care of me than any earthly father ever could. :)

This journey has challenged me to live my faith. I have clung to God's promises in ways I never have before. I have learned again, as I did during my 2nd miscarriage, what it means to hold fast to the Lord! It is in the valley's that we grow, and we are held closer than we can even imagine.

When I was standing in the worship service it hit me that I was 28 wks and 4 days, the same as the day I went to UAB. Tears stung my eyes and my cheeks, which is very usual for me in church during the singing, but my heart had tears too. We sang "God is Good All the Time". WOW!! I had to compose myself, and think, do I really believe that? You know, the answer is Yes! I realized that I didn't need to feel overwhelming sadness, but instead to rejoice in the fact that I was getting to worship my Father on this day and feel Joy Michelle moving around in my belly. My mind rushed through November 19, 2009.

It stopped in the bathroom before we left the doctor after finding out her diagnosis. I told God that I didn't know what He was doing, but may He be glorified.

As Bro. Charles opened his sermon, he read from John 9:1-7
John 9:3 Jesus answered, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him."

Philippians 2:13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure

God answered my prayer that day in the bathroom on November 19, 2009. He is being glorified. Janie Beth came so that the works of God could be revealed through her tiny body. Not in the way I would have wanted, by her staying here miraculously, but by those left behind learning to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. We can talk a good talk during the good times, but there comes a time when God calls us to go deeper and walk the walk. He calls us during good times too, but that walking is usually being His hands and feet and getting out of our comfort zone. His calling to walk the walk during hard times is learning to truly live by faith and have hope when it seems all hope is lost. The call to believe when you cannot see the sun shining behind the thick storm that whirls around you.

I have a long way to go, but I felt God telling me that I am on the right path. I am taking those steps of living my faith and walking the walk beyond just talking the talk. I had reassurance that this journey is worth it all. I was given hope. As I trudge through this mud, I will have hope, and I will walk the walk and be ready to give a testimony of my hope so that maybe somebody else may find hope in God and realize that He is there.

I am thankful that I went back today and looked through, in my heart, the things God taught me Sunday. I need to be reminded sometimes. There are so many days when the fight gets old. There are days when the hope fades. There are days when my focus is wrong. There are days when I fall into self-pity. But, I am striving to become a woman after God's own heart. I am trying to let Him mold me and refine me.

I Walk By Faith
I walk by faith
Each step by faith
To live by faith
I put my trust in You
I wallk by faith
Each step by faith
To live by faith
I put my trust in You


Every step I take
Is a step of faith
No weapon formed against me shall prosper
And every prayer I make
Is a prayer of faith
And if my God is for me
Who can be against me