We are going through some hard times right now.
Joey is flying out to CA this evening to see his dad one more time. He, Jim, came home Monday with Hospice from rehab. He is tired of fighting, and is fading extremely quickly. He is not expected to make it to Thursday. Joey's mom passed away in 1998, so Jim is his last living parent. Please keep Jim and the family in your prayers over the days and week to come.
We have also been having major car issues. UGH! We are currently driving my mom's van and she has Joey's car because we cannot fit in Joey's car. An amazing man came and picked up our van yesterday and thinks he knows what the problem is. Praise the Lord!! We are still praying for God to provide a bigger vehicle in his time that will hold 5 carseats because my sister's baby girl, Gwyn, will be staying with us during the day starting next week. But, I know God is fully capable of meeting all of our needs.
The first mommy friend that I have that shared her news of being pregnant after Janie Beth just had her baby girl a week ago. It really hit me harder than I expected. Due to our car issues I haven't gotten to meet the newest addition to their family, but I know in God's time. I pray that in God's time it will get easier to watch others have babies. I really am happy for them because I don't want them to sit in my shoes, but it still hurts my heart for my journey to be different.
Being past 28 wks has put me into a cherish every moment state. I am in the time frame that I was trying to cherish every moment I had with Janie Beth. I miss her so much as I feel Joy Michelle kick and move around. I miss her as the cool mornings are coming. I miss her as we prepare for Joy Michelle to prayfully come home. I miss her as we approach 9 months since we held her. But, I also rejoice for the time I had with her! I am thankful for the life growing inside me.
We even got a peek at Joy Michelle last week. :) She looks just like Janie Beth and Katie Jo, which means she looks like Eli too, but we are only going to talk girls. :) She is measuring great! I can't wait to meet her and hold her!!!
I am trying to leave all my fears in God's hands! As we approach the end of the pregnancy and the death of Joey's dad, I fear someone else getting sick or dying. I fear Joey not making it home safely. Every little ailment in my children I start to head down the road of something major being wrong. I have to constanly take my thoughts captive! I am learning to let go and trust, yet again.
I miss God. I haven't had as much time with Him over the last week or so as I usually do and I long to get back. That is my prayer, to have some quality time with God this evening once I get the kids in bed, and then for Him to wake me in the morning for quality time before the kids get up. I know He is here and I know He is carrying me and being my strength and my faith. As I miss Him, I also feel close to Him, as crazy as that sounds.
I have several posts in my head, and I hope to get them typed up in the coming days. I also want to upload the picture we got of Joy Michelle at our appointment. :)