Before Janie Beth, I was settling on the East of the Jordan.
This morning I was reading Numbers 32. It is the chapter where the tribe of Rueben, Gad, and half of Manessah ask Moses to let them settle on the East side of the Jordan. I then moved on and read in John, but I kept thinking about settling on the East side of the Jordan.
How many times do we pitch our tents on the East side of the Jordan because it looks so good even though it isn't the Promised Land. We still get blessings on the East side when we are following God's laws, but what are we missing out on!?! It is wonderful land and our families might be safe there, but what are we missing out on? We are comfy on the East side. We aren't challenged. We don't grow. We don't change. We just hang out and have God in a little compartment of our lives.
I was living on the East side of the Jordan! I had my 3 kids. My husband had a job. We had a house. The kids went to a little 2 hour/ 3 days a week program at the local tech school where they taught teenagers how to teach preschoolers. I had what I tought was the life. God fit right in, and I could still go about doing the things I had always done. My kids were kind of like a status symbol. I had them and I loved them, and I was called their Mother, but I wasn't really mothering them. I would if it was convenient for me, but they weren't really my priority. I was the preacher's wife. I had a title and status in the community. I felt important. I was blessed. God was teaching me, but it was on the surface. Oh, He was calling me deeper, but I didn't really want to hear it. I was having a good time on the East side.
Then life got hairy. We lost our job. We got a home, but it was half the size and the garage was piled high with boxes because we didn't have room and Joey didn't have an office. We became regular church members. I had faith that God would pull us through somehow, but my life was upside down! What happened to the East side of the Jordan!?!
Then, we found our we were expecting. Yay, a bright spot in this thunderstorm we were living in. But, I had a feeling...something wasn't quite right. Little did I know just how "not right" they were. But, I trudged forward. Then, we found out Janie Beth wouldn't be able to live after birth. REALLY!?! Are you serious? "God, I don't know what You are doing, but I pray that You be glorified!" Then, Janie Beth was born Dec. 29, 2009 and then went to heaven 2 yrs ago today. Thus began an even darker storm...
But, this storm would lead me to the river's edge on the East side. All along I thought I was living in the Promised Land, but in reality I was wondering in the wilderness. I was clueless!
God used Janie Beth to part the waters of the Jordan River and call me to the true Promised Land that He had for me. Really!?! We still didn't have a job. We still lived in a small house. I now had 4 children, but 1 of them resided in Heaven. How in the world was this my Promised Land!?!
God asked me if I really wanted to be a wife and mother? Of course! That is all I have ever wanted to be and do. But, you have just used them as a status symbol. A check off your list. They are there to meet your needs. Is that truly what a wife and mother should be?
WOW!!! How little I truly knew, and still know! God called me to accept my calling as a wife and mother. It wasn't a title to just put on. It is so much more than that! It is a lifestyle. It is a huge calling! It has major responsibility. It is hard work. It is rewarding. It is a blessing. It is a true Promised Land!
No, it isn't ready made like the East side of the Jordan, already ready for the livestock and children, but it is where I am truly called to settle. There is a little obstactle. :) Isn't there always!?! :) I have to conquer this Promised Land. I have to work the land to get it ready. I have to dive in with both feet and hands and sweat. I have to fail and get back up and try again. But, it is amazing!!! The land is fruitful if I am willing to take the time to work it. My children's souls and hearts are fruitful! Will I take the time to work them and feed them? Or will I just let them grow as they wish with lots of weeds? I must build my house and make it comfy and cozy. Relaxing for my beloved. I need to make him feel cherished. Am I going to let the world do that? I could try and let it, but it would never do it.
This Promised Land is full. I want to conquer every part of it! I am just scratching the surface of the coast on the West side of the Jordan. It is already amazing, and I know I can't begin to imagine the blessings that await for me and my family as we set out and conquer our Promised Land.
In a little house, with no job, and a child in Heaven, I found the entrance to the Promised Land God has for me. Before life got hairy, I was perfectly happy to be on the East side of the Jordan. I don't know what all awaits us in the Promised Land, and I know there will be hard times, but it will all be blessed. We have God leading us and following us. He has us enclosed all around. He is our helper and our guide. We are wholeheartedly seeking Jesus and following Him on the journey into our Promised Land! It isn't at all what I would have expected, instead it is far better!
Thank You, God, for a precious baby girl named Janie Beth. Thank You for using her 22 hours to bring me on an amazing journey that brought me to the edge of the East side of the Jordan where You showed up and asked me to go deeper! Thank You for Your love and guidance. Thank You for Your grace and mercy as I fail daily. Thank You for Your patience as I have to learn the same lesson over and over. I love You! May I grow to love You more and more. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Change
I believe change is going to be a big part of our lives in 2012. Timothy will be joining our family, we pray. We will be moving somewhere; there is a particular place we are praying for. We will get some kind of job, prayerfully in a church. We will be changing how we do things around here.
2011 was about growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus. I will continue to pray that prayer for my family. It has blessed us immensely this year, and I am very thankful for the ways in which God has had my family grow. He is growing us in our desires and priorities.
This year I want to take that even deeper. God has been changing mine and Joey's hearts in many ways. We took the plunge this year and told the kids that Santa isn't real. They really accepted it just fine! I wanted Christmas to be all about Jesus! Last year I brought up telling them about Santa, but our hearts weren't totally ready yet. I am realizing that our focus as a family is in the wrong place so many times! Christmas is a wonderful example because everyone is focused on self. What will I get? How many presents do I have? Me, me, me! But, our focus should be Jesus and giving. We tried to implement a focus change this year, and I plan to do even more next year.
But, I don't want our focus to be on Jesus only at Christmas time! I want our lives to be totally about Him.
I have been reading through Book Five of Psalms at night before going to bed. Sometimes I only get through one verse because it touches me so much, but lately I have been stuck on the same 8 verses. I just can't seem to move beyond them.
Psalm 119:8-16
How can a young man cleanse him way?
By taking heed according to Your word,
With my whole heart I have sought You;
Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!
Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You.
Blesse are You, O Lord!
Teach me Your statues.
With my lips I have declared
All the judgments of Your mouth.
I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies,
As much as in all riches.
I will meditate on Your precepts,
And contemplate Your ways.
I will delight myself in Your statutes;
I will not forget Your word.
All of these verses are rocking my world, but I am really rocked by verse 10 right now.
With my whole heart I have sought You;
Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!
Do I seek Jesus with my whole heart!?! Or is it just with the edges!?! Do I let Him have full access? Am I willing to change and let go of things I really like in order to truly be what He wants me to be? Am I wholeheartedly sold out for Jesus?
In all honesty, my answer to every one of those questions is "no". BUT!! (Don't you just love when it says, "But, God"!!!) But God is changing my heart! He is growing me. I want my answer to those questions to be a big resounding "YES"!!! I want to continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ my Lord and my Savior by wholeheartedly seeking after Him.
My word for me and my family is WHOLEHEARTEDLY! This year we are going to seek to seek after God and Jesus with our whole hearts. We are going to continue to grow, and prayerfully become a family after God's own heart. We are going to change because you cannot seek after Jesus wholeheartedly and not be changed!
This will not be easy!!! I will admit that there is a part of me that is wondering if I will have to let go of things I really like. But, then I think of the amazing things God will fill that place with! Look at the disciples! They dropped everything and went. Their eyes were only on Jesus. I can feel the changing stirring in my soul. It excites me. I am thankful for a husband to go on this journey with. I am thankful that we are changing the way our children are raised. I am thankful that God has called me to a higher standard as His child. I am thankful that He will be with me every step of the way.
I told Joey last night that everything needs to be laid on the table. We have discussed this many times with regard to the church, and how they (every single church) need to revision themselves and lay everything on the table and make sure it is all honoring God and doing what He wants it to. I believe there are times when He may call us to stop a ministry that is doing well because there is another one that needs more attention or is needed more. (That is a rabbit we can chase in another post. LOL) As a couple we need to look at everything we are doing as a family and/or not doing and make sure that it is all lining up with what God wants us to do. I honestly do not know what God may ask us to stop or start, or move away from a little bit, but I do know that His plan for us is good and His will is perfect. It may hurt as we are pruned and as we grow new roots because that is hard work, but we will be so thankful we did it!
So, here we go! We are off on a wholehearted journey toward Jesus!!! :) I hope to write more about the other verses in this section as well now that I have written about verse 10a. God's word is so amazing! Alive and moving still today if we let it!
2011 was about growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus. I will continue to pray that prayer for my family. It has blessed us immensely this year, and I am very thankful for the ways in which God has had my family grow. He is growing us in our desires and priorities.
This year I want to take that even deeper. God has been changing mine and Joey's hearts in many ways. We took the plunge this year and told the kids that Santa isn't real. They really accepted it just fine! I wanted Christmas to be all about Jesus! Last year I brought up telling them about Santa, but our hearts weren't totally ready yet. I am realizing that our focus as a family is in the wrong place so many times! Christmas is a wonderful example because everyone is focused on self. What will I get? How many presents do I have? Me, me, me! But, our focus should be Jesus and giving. We tried to implement a focus change this year, and I plan to do even more next year.
But, I don't want our focus to be on Jesus only at Christmas time! I want our lives to be totally about Him.
I have been reading through Book Five of Psalms at night before going to bed. Sometimes I only get through one verse because it touches me so much, but lately I have been stuck on the same 8 verses. I just can't seem to move beyond them.
Psalm 119:8-16
How can a young man cleanse him way?
By taking heed according to Your word,
With my whole heart I have sought You;
Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!
Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You.
Blesse are You, O Lord!
Teach me Your statues.
With my lips I have declared
All the judgments of Your mouth.
I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies,
As much as in all riches.
I will meditate on Your precepts,
And contemplate Your ways.
I will delight myself in Your statutes;
I will not forget Your word.
All of these verses are rocking my world, but I am really rocked by verse 10 right now.
With my whole heart I have sought You;
Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!
Do I seek Jesus with my whole heart!?! Or is it just with the edges!?! Do I let Him have full access? Am I willing to change and let go of things I really like in order to truly be what He wants me to be? Am I wholeheartedly sold out for Jesus?
In all honesty, my answer to every one of those questions is "no". BUT!! (Don't you just love when it says, "But, God"!!!) But God is changing my heart! He is growing me. I want my answer to those questions to be a big resounding "YES"!!! I want to continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ my Lord and my Savior by wholeheartedly seeking after Him.
My word for me and my family is WHOLEHEARTEDLY! This year we are going to seek to seek after God and Jesus with our whole hearts. We are going to continue to grow, and prayerfully become a family after God's own heart. We are going to change because you cannot seek after Jesus wholeheartedly and not be changed!
This will not be easy!!! I will admit that there is a part of me that is wondering if I will have to let go of things I really like. But, then I think of the amazing things God will fill that place with! Look at the disciples! They dropped everything and went. Their eyes were only on Jesus. I can feel the changing stirring in my soul. It excites me. I am thankful for a husband to go on this journey with. I am thankful that we are changing the way our children are raised. I am thankful that God has called me to a higher standard as His child. I am thankful that He will be with me every step of the way.
I told Joey last night that everything needs to be laid on the table. We have discussed this many times with regard to the church, and how they (every single church) need to revision themselves and lay everything on the table and make sure it is all honoring God and doing what He wants it to. I believe there are times when He may call us to stop a ministry that is doing well because there is another one that needs more attention or is needed more. (That is a rabbit we can chase in another post. LOL) As a couple we need to look at everything we are doing as a family and/or not doing and make sure that it is all lining up with what God wants us to do. I honestly do not know what God may ask us to stop or start, or move away from a little bit, but I do know that His plan for us is good and His will is perfect. It may hurt as we are pruned and as we grow new roots because that is hard work, but we will be so thankful we did it!
So, here we go! We are off on a wholehearted journey toward Jesus!!! :) I hope to write more about the other verses in this section as well now that I have written about verse 10a. God's word is so amazing! Alive and moving still today if we let it!
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Lolly
We have a special guest at our house this month. (And the kids have asked that she continue to visit after Christmas is over. :)) Her name is Lolly. Yes, my children named her. The first suggestion as Golly, so Lolly is good! She is our Christmas Angel. (You can find out more about them here.)
First off I must say a HUGE THANK YOU to my awesome Aunt Tricia for giving us Lolly!!!!!
Each night I set Lolly up with a message of how we will give the next day. She has truly blessed our family! We have enjoyed focusing on others this Christmas season. The angels are God's messengers, and we are too, so we are trying to spread Jesus by the messages of our actions. I have made it my goal to really focus on Jesus and giving this year. Lolly has helped us to do that. We are also doing The Jesse Advent Tree. (Hopefully, next year we don't move at this time of year and I can plan better!) I pray that seeds of Jesus are being planted in my children's hearts as we seek to share Him with others.
Here are some pictures of Lolly and her messages that we have received so far...
Our first day we read her story and just talked about her and focusing on Jesus and getting excited about His birth.
We made cards to share our thanks with our teachers at church.
Sadly, we haven't actually accomplished this, but it is in the plans for this Thurs or Fri!
Lolly hid in the tree! :)
Here is her message. (We decorated a little tree for Grandaddy.)
We wrapped 8 presents to go under Grandaddy's tree; one for each day starting Dec. 18 thru Christmas Morning.
Sunday Lolly had to rest because Mommy and the 2 youngest children were up almost all night! But, the 2 oldest and Mommy dropped off the tree and presents at Grandaddy's door and ran. (He somehow figured out it was us!)
I have to say that I am very proud of the kids for going through their toys and picking out like new things to give to children that lost everything in the tornadoes in April!!!
We will be sharing our smiles at home tomorrow, and out and about as we drop off the toys and go visit Grandaddy since he was upset we ran and didn't stay. :)
I look forward to Lolly continuing to visit throughout the year some, and especially next December! I am thinking she will be around once a week throughout the rest of the year, but Mommy won't tell which day. :)
I pray that God will use Lolly to bring us closer to Him and make giving and thanks part of our lifestyle, being Jesus to those around us.
First off I must say a HUGE THANK YOU to my awesome Aunt Tricia for giving us Lolly!!!!!
Each night I set Lolly up with a message of how we will give the next day. She has truly blessed our family! We have enjoyed focusing on others this Christmas season. The angels are God's messengers, and we are too, so we are trying to spread Jesus by the messages of our actions. I have made it my goal to really focus on Jesus and giving this year. Lolly has helped us to do that. We are also doing The Jesse Advent Tree. (Hopefully, next year we don't move at this time of year and I can plan better!) I pray that seeds of Jesus are being planted in my children's hearts as we seek to share Him with others.
Here are some pictures of Lolly and her messages that we have received so far...
Our first day we read her story and just talked about her and focusing on Jesus and getting excited about His birth.
Sunday Lolly had to rest because Mommy and the 2 youngest children were up almost all night! But, the 2 oldest and Mommy dropped off the tree and presents at Grandaddy's door and ran. (He somehow figured out it was us!)
I have to say that I am very proud of the kids for going through their toys and picking out like new things to give to children that lost everything in the tornadoes in April!!!
I pray that God will use Lolly to bring us closer to Him and make giving and thanks part of our lifestyle, being Jesus to those around us.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
8 Years Old
It has been 8 years since I became a mother for the first time. Is he really that old??? Josiah Mark is now 8 years old!
This past year has been full for you! You are doing really well with school and your reading continues to improve. You are really sweet with Joy, and I look forward to seeing you with Timothy. You still building with anything you can get your hands on. You would LOVE a room full of legos! Your mouth never stops, especially in the car. :) You and Eli have a better relationship now, but you still have your moments. You and Katie Jo just fit. Neither of you remember life without the other. It is amazing to me how tall you are! You love to see how far up you are against me. It won't be long until you pass me by.
I look at you and wonder what amazing things God has in store for you. I am excited to see you grow through this next year. See you learn new things, and grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus.
Father God, I thank You for Josiah! I thank You for the privilege of being his mother. He is the first one that gave me that title. That day changed my life. I pray for Your blessings upon Josiah's life. May You enrich his faith. May You mold a thankful heart into him. May You keep him safe and healthy and growing. May You prepare him for Your call on his life. May You prepare his future wife for the call You have for their lives together. May they both grow into godly young people living their lives for Jesus. I pray, Lord, that Josiah would fall in love with Jesus. May You continue to grow him in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ his Lord and his Savior. Help me, Father, to be the mother that Josiah needs. Show me how to reach him where he is. Show me how to show him that I love him in a way that he understands. Mold me and help me cherish each moment I have with him. Thank You for a special young man! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Here are some pictures through the year...
Started with snow
One of your many buildings
Brothers
Big Big Brother
Best Buds
Had your first RA race
Waiting out the storms in April
You went to New Orleans
Went on your first RA campout with Dad.
You have gotten good on your scooter!
Hula Hoop King!
Flexible!!! Your legs are flat on the ground!
Joined the family of God!
Lost way too many teeth! LOL
First time playing flag football. You LOVED it!
More of your building concoctions.
Army man!
You were cold one morning and this is how you dressed for breakfast!
You are fun! I love you, Josiah!!!
This past year has been full for you! You are doing really well with school and your reading continues to improve. You are really sweet with Joy, and I look forward to seeing you with Timothy. You still building with anything you can get your hands on. You would LOVE a room full of legos! Your mouth never stops, especially in the car. :) You and Eli have a better relationship now, but you still have your moments. You and Katie Jo just fit. Neither of you remember life without the other. It is amazing to me how tall you are! You love to see how far up you are against me. It won't be long until you pass me by.
I look at you and wonder what amazing things God has in store for you. I am excited to see you grow through this next year. See you learn new things, and grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus.
Father God, I thank You for Josiah! I thank You for the privilege of being his mother. He is the first one that gave me that title. That day changed my life. I pray for Your blessings upon Josiah's life. May You enrich his faith. May You mold a thankful heart into him. May You keep him safe and healthy and growing. May You prepare him for Your call on his life. May You prepare his future wife for the call You have for their lives together. May they both grow into godly young people living their lives for Jesus. I pray, Lord, that Josiah would fall in love with Jesus. May You continue to grow him in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ his Lord and his Savior. Help me, Father, to be the mother that Josiah needs. Show me how to reach him where he is. Show me how to show him that I love him in a way that he understands. Mold me and help me cherish each moment I have with him. Thank You for a special young man! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Here are some pictures through the year...
Started with snow
Thursday, December 8, 2011
20 Weeks
We had our ultrasound today. Our newest little one looked wonderful. Everything measured good. We are praising God for His mercy and grace!!!!
Baby #6 will be called Timothy Joseph. :) Timothy means "gift of God". He truly is a gift of God. I wasn't one bit surprised that he was a he. I have had a feeling since day 1.
Also praising God that the placenta previa has cleared up! My placenta is still low in my uterus, but it is not covering the cervix at all. Thank You, Jesus!!!!
He is a picture of a picture of Timothy, and my 20 week picture...
Baby #6 will be called Timothy Joseph. :) Timothy means "gift of God". He truly is a gift of God. I wasn't one bit surprised that he was a he. I have had a feeling since day 1.
Also praising God that the placenta previa has cleared up! My placenta is still low in my uterus, but it is not covering the cervix at all. Thank You, Jesus!!!!
He is a picture of a picture of Timothy, and my 20 week picture...
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
The Day is Here...
The words... Where are the words? I am at a loss for them.
Tomorrow is the big ultrasound. I have been waiting for this day, yet dreading it as well. I am excited, yet so scared.
Sunday morning in church, I let go. I told God that I really didn't want to walk a similar road to Janie Beth's, but I was willing. I would accept that journey again. Silent tears streaked down my face, and I really wanted to run to the bathroom and just bawl! I wanted to just run into the arms of Jesus and feel Him hold me. I was vunerable. I put myself completely and totally in God's hands. I let go...
I have slowly been picking it all back up. The fear, the worry, the wonder. Why do I do this to myself??? It doesn't change anything.
As the week has progressed things in our lives have started to fall apart. AH!!! My faith is stretched thin. I fear, worry, and wonder. Things were falling apart before Janie Beth too. Will God choose to answer my prayers by having me walk through another journey of loss???
I do not know the answer to this question. Even if the ultrasound tomorrow is good, that doesn't mean that we won't endure another journey of loss because one day we will. Loss is a part of life. That is a hard reality to accept sometimes.
How Janie Beth fills my thoughts right now!
I must change my perspective!
Psalm 116:1-2
I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.
WOW! Instead of looking at all that I lost. I must remember that God hears my prayers! He always answers my prayers, and I must continue to call upon Him as long as I live. He is faithful!!! He has proven Himself over and over again.
I am only as poor as I think I am! Oh Lord, change my perspective!!! Please! I need a mind renewal. You have given me so much. Thank You! Thank You for the stones that I can look back on to see your faithfulness in my life! Thank You for Janie Beth and the amazing journey her life has brought me on. Thank You for this new little one and the blessings You have in store for us through his or her life. You hear me when I call. You set my feet in a broad place. You are on my side. I will not fear. (Ps. 118:5-6) You are mindful of me. You will bless me if I fear You. (Ps. 115:12-13) May I totally trust You, for You are my help and my shield. Who is like the Lord our God, who dwells on high, who humbles Himself to behold the things that are in the heavens and in the earth? (Ps. 113:5-6) What a mighty God!!!! No one but You can truly behold both things on earth and in heaven. You care about each and every thing. Thank You for caring about every detail of my life! I love You! May You continue to be glorified in my life and through my life. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Tomorrow is the big ultrasound. I have been waiting for this day, yet dreading it as well. I am excited, yet so scared.
Sunday morning in church, I let go. I told God that I really didn't want to walk a similar road to Janie Beth's, but I was willing. I would accept that journey again. Silent tears streaked down my face, and I really wanted to run to the bathroom and just bawl! I wanted to just run into the arms of Jesus and feel Him hold me. I was vunerable. I put myself completely and totally in God's hands. I let go...
I have slowly been picking it all back up. The fear, the worry, the wonder. Why do I do this to myself??? It doesn't change anything.
As the week has progressed things in our lives have started to fall apart. AH!!! My faith is stretched thin. I fear, worry, and wonder. Things were falling apart before Janie Beth too. Will God choose to answer my prayers by having me walk through another journey of loss???
I do not know the answer to this question. Even if the ultrasound tomorrow is good, that doesn't mean that we won't endure another journey of loss because one day we will. Loss is a part of life. That is a hard reality to accept sometimes.
How Janie Beth fills my thoughts right now!
I must change my perspective!
Psalm 116:1-2
I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.
WOW! Instead of looking at all that I lost. I must remember that God hears my prayers! He always answers my prayers, and I must continue to call upon Him as long as I live. He is faithful!!! He has proven Himself over and over again.
I am only as poor as I think I am! Oh Lord, change my perspective!!! Please! I need a mind renewal. You have given me so much. Thank You! Thank You for the stones that I can look back on to see your faithfulness in my life! Thank You for Janie Beth and the amazing journey her life has brought me on. Thank You for this new little one and the blessings You have in store for us through his or her life. You hear me when I call. You set my feet in a broad place. You are on my side. I will not fear. (Ps. 118:5-6) You are mindful of me. You will bless me if I fear You. (Ps. 115:12-13) May I totally trust You, for You are my help and my shield. Who is like the Lord our God, who dwells on high, who humbles Himself to behold the things that are in the heavens and in the earth? (Ps. 113:5-6) What a mighty God!!!! No one but You can truly behold both things on earth and in heaven. You care about each and every thing. Thank You for caring about every detail of my life! I love You! May You continue to be glorified in my life and through my life. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Moving... in multiple ways
Life is purely crazy at the moment!!! God had things fall into place last Sun, Nov 20, in such a way that we are moving this week. We have been moving and are hoping to be done and have the all clean by Sunday evening. We have moved multiple times in the 9 yrs of our marriage (today is our 9th anniversary! Love you, Babe!!!!), but never have we done a slow move where smaller loads are taken daily. It is driving me crazy to have my house in such disarray! Do not ask Joey just how fun I have been to live with this week because you really don't want to know! ;) I will admit that my time with God has been entirely too short which has contributed to my stress level.
But, I believe that moving is affecting me emotionally as well. This is Janie Beth's house. All my memories of her are here. We are moving into another chapter of our lives. How does she fit in? She has a wonderful spot in the new house, and it is all set up (I'll take pics soon!). It looks great. But, this little move makes me wonder how she will fit in when we move when we get a job and move again. That will be a new world of people that don't know her story. Yet, her story is completely woven in our lives so she will defintely get known. It is just hard to move forward sometimes.
I also am amazed when I think of all Joey and I have been through in 9 yrs of marriage. We are making our 5th move since we got married. We have faced mountain tops and valleys! This move is a blessing, and God completely worked it out, but we are praying for God to move us to a church soon. We long to be serving in a church again. These 3 yrs of waiting have changed us and moved us further in our walks, and in our marriage. When we got married on November 30, 2002, I had no idea just who we would be and where we would be 9 yrs later!!! God has blessed us immensely!!! Our marriage is moving forward in ways we never could have imagined!
Our newest little one has been moving much more lately. I LOVE it!!!!! It brings a smile to my face, and sometimes a prick to my heart. We have our ultrasound next week, and I will admit that I am scared. I am praying that we see a healthy little one in there, and that everything looks great. But, I also know that that is not a guarantee. I truly want God's will done, but I also want mine done. I battle within myself quite often!! I know this little one is a blessing, and that God has a special plan for him or her in our family. I do not know how He plans to use this little one's life, but it will be for His glory!!! Thank You, Father, for that reminder!!!
So, we are moving in multiple ways. :) I am moving physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I pray that each and every move is according to God's will, and that they are each moving forward and upward. What a challenge that really is! How can I accomplish that? By looking to Jesus! Keep my eyes on Jesus; on the upward call of Christ. Following Jesus isn't meant to be easy or status quo. It is meant to grow and move.
I started this post with tears, and I am ending it with a smile. God met me here as I typed my heart. He gently reminded me of His perfect plan. He whispered to my heart that He is here and He loves me no matter what. What a wonderful, loving God we serve!!!!
Thank You, Abba! Thank You, Jesus!! There are really no other words to say. I love You! Thank You for moving in my life!! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
But, I believe that moving is affecting me emotionally as well. This is Janie Beth's house. All my memories of her are here. We are moving into another chapter of our lives. How does she fit in? She has a wonderful spot in the new house, and it is all set up (I'll take pics soon!). It looks great. But, this little move makes me wonder how she will fit in when we move when we get a job and move again. That will be a new world of people that don't know her story. Yet, her story is completely woven in our lives so she will defintely get known. It is just hard to move forward sometimes.
I also am amazed when I think of all Joey and I have been through in 9 yrs of marriage. We are making our 5th move since we got married. We have faced mountain tops and valleys! This move is a blessing, and God completely worked it out, but we are praying for God to move us to a church soon. We long to be serving in a church again. These 3 yrs of waiting have changed us and moved us further in our walks, and in our marriage. When we got married on November 30, 2002, I had no idea just who we would be and where we would be 9 yrs later!!! God has blessed us immensely!!! Our marriage is moving forward in ways we never could have imagined!
Our newest little one has been moving much more lately. I LOVE it!!!!! It brings a smile to my face, and sometimes a prick to my heart. We have our ultrasound next week, and I will admit that I am scared. I am praying that we see a healthy little one in there, and that everything looks great. But, I also know that that is not a guarantee. I truly want God's will done, but I also want mine done. I battle within myself quite often!! I know this little one is a blessing, and that God has a special plan for him or her in our family. I do not know how He plans to use this little one's life, but it will be for His glory!!! Thank You, Father, for that reminder!!!
So, we are moving in multiple ways. :) I am moving physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I pray that each and every move is according to God's will, and that they are each moving forward and upward. What a challenge that really is! How can I accomplish that? By looking to Jesus! Keep my eyes on Jesus; on the upward call of Christ. Following Jesus isn't meant to be easy or status quo. It is meant to grow and move.
I started this post with tears, and I am ending it with a smile. God met me here as I typed my heart. He gently reminded me of His perfect plan. He whispered to my heart that He is here and He loves me no matter what. What a wonderful, loving God we serve!!!!
Thank You, Abba! Thank You, Jesus!! There are really no other words to say. I love You! Thank You for moving in my life!! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
The Holidays Approaching...
Bittersweet has become a word I use quite often. I use it right now to explain how the approaching holiday season feels. It is bittersweet, but in a different bittersweet way than last year's. I know that sounds crazy, and you all should know by now that I am a little bit crazy. ;)
Today marked 2 yrs since we had an u/s with our regular OB that showed Janie's limbs had not grown. Saturday marks a year since we went to UAB and saw the specialist. It is hard to believe that it has been 2 yrs!!! It seems like another life, yet it feels like a day ago as I can easily recall those days.
As I recall those days this year I am in a better place. I still miss Janie Beth with every part of my being, and I still yearn and long to hold her and kiss her and tell her I love her. It takes my breath away at moments. I cry at moments. But, the moments don't last as long, and I usually cry with a smile on my face. The yearning moments are the hard moments. There are certain pictures that make her more real to me, and those pictures bring a tear to my eye without a smile because I remember just how much I miss her and how much she means to me. I wonder what she would be like right now. Then, I picture, with my limited knowledge and imagination, how wonderful it is in heaven. I am thankful! That precious little girl called me to be a Mother.
Last year I was in a weird place. Joy Michelle was here already and I am so thankful that I had her to hold on those hard days. She took the ache out of my arms. Yet, I think i was somewhat numb. I just went through the motions. Perhaps to save myself some of the pain, I don't know. The holidays were just there. We endured them. We were blessed through them!
This year I am ready for the holidays. I want to embrace them with my children and watch the glow and delight on their faces. I want to make memories and teach them the true meaning of Christmas. I want them to live lives of thankfulness, not just a month of thankfulness. I want us to find ways to bless others. I want to celebrate my wonderful Savior who is pulling me through!
But, there is always a "but" isn't there :), being pregnant right now adds a whole new dimension to everything. I am beyond grateful to be pregnant right now and walk these days and weeks with a precious life in my womb. It is redeeming. It is healing. It is a struggle to be honest! I am fighting fear with this pregnancy that I did not fight with Joy Michelle's pregnancy. God in His mercy knew I could only handle so much last year, and He knew that Jesus and I could win this victory this year. I would have crumbled last year. This year I will Lean on the Everlasting Arms. I will feel and heal. My Redeemer only gives me what I can handle! AMEN! Now, if I would just remember that in those fearful moments. ;) Easier said than done sometimes.
This year the holidays will be different in other ways as well for our family. I do not know exactly what God is going to do, but I know He will come through because He always has in the past. It is scary, and I know that adds to my fear, but it is also exciting. Why!?! Why would this crazy woman say that it is exciting!?! Because it is God, and only God, and all God!!!! There is no me or us in this! I get to watch the hand of God move. How awesome is that!?! I have no idea where or when it is getting to move, but I know that it will. I will be like Abraham, who, contrary to hope, in hope believed (Romans 4:18).
Great and Mighty is the Lord our God! Thank You, Father, that I am in a better place. Thank You that You blessed my womb with Janie Beth. Thank You for the hope that we have in Jesus! Thank You for the Rock we have in Jesus. Thank You for the blessings You have in store for us. Thank You that You are making the path straight and smooth! You are awesome! I love You! May I come to love Jesus even more through this holiday season. May You draw me near to the heart of God. I don't want to miss the true meaning of Christmas, and I want to live a life of thankfulness at all times. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Today marked 2 yrs since we had an u/s with our regular OB that showed Janie's limbs had not grown. Saturday marks a year since we went to UAB and saw the specialist. It is hard to believe that it has been 2 yrs!!! It seems like another life, yet it feels like a day ago as I can easily recall those days.
As I recall those days this year I am in a better place. I still miss Janie Beth with every part of my being, and I still yearn and long to hold her and kiss her and tell her I love her. It takes my breath away at moments. I cry at moments. But, the moments don't last as long, and I usually cry with a smile on my face. The yearning moments are the hard moments. There are certain pictures that make her more real to me, and those pictures bring a tear to my eye without a smile because I remember just how much I miss her and how much she means to me. I wonder what she would be like right now. Then, I picture, with my limited knowledge and imagination, how wonderful it is in heaven. I am thankful! That precious little girl called me to be a Mother.
Last year I was in a weird place. Joy Michelle was here already and I am so thankful that I had her to hold on those hard days. She took the ache out of my arms. Yet, I think i was somewhat numb. I just went through the motions. Perhaps to save myself some of the pain, I don't know. The holidays were just there. We endured them. We were blessed through them!
This year I am ready for the holidays. I want to embrace them with my children and watch the glow and delight on their faces. I want to make memories and teach them the true meaning of Christmas. I want them to live lives of thankfulness, not just a month of thankfulness. I want us to find ways to bless others. I want to celebrate my wonderful Savior who is pulling me through!
But, there is always a "but" isn't there :), being pregnant right now adds a whole new dimension to everything. I am beyond grateful to be pregnant right now and walk these days and weeks with a precious life in my womb. It is redeeming. It is healing. It is a struggle to be honest! I am fighting fear with this pregnancy that I did not fight with Joy Michelle's pregnancy. God in His mercy knew I could only handle so much last year, and He knew that Jesus and I could win this victory this year. I would have crumbled last year. This year I will Lean on the Everlasting Arms. I will feel and heal. My Redeemer only gives me what I can handle! AMEN! Now, if I would just remember that in those fearful moments. ;) Easier said than done sometimes.
This year the holidays will be different in other ways as well for our family. I do not know exactly what God is going to do, but I know He will come through because He always has in the past. It is scary, and I know that adds to my fear, but it is also exciting. Why!?! Why would this crazy woman say that it is exciting!?! Because it is God, and only God, and all God!!!! There is no me or us in this! I get to watch the hand of God move. How awesome is that!?! I have no idea where or when it is getting to move, but I know that it will. I will be like Abraham, who, contrary to hope, in hope believed (Romans 4:18).
Great and Mighty is the Lord our God! Thank You, Father, that I am in a better place. Thank You that You blessed my womb with Janie Beth. Thank You for the hope that we have in Jesus! Thank You for the Rock we have in Jesus. Thank You for the blessings You have in store for us. Thank You that You are making the path straight and smooth! You are awesome! I love You! May I come to love Jesus even more through this holiday season. May You draw me near to the heart of God. I don't want to miss the true meaning of Christmas, and I want to live a life of thankfulness at all times. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Balloons
Where do balloons go that come into our house? Well, they go to Janie Beth, of course. :) Katie Jo went to a birthday party last Friday and she brought a balloon home, so she let it go on Saturday. Sometimes we attach cards or pictures to them, and she debated about sending the bracelet up that she had attached to it, but in the end she kept it. Here some pictures of Janie's latest balloon! It warms my heart that they still remember and talk about her.
Disclaimer: We are an Alabama football household, but Katie Jo has chosen to cheer for LSU because her Nana does. :) Joey tells her she is in rebellion.
Disclaimer: We are an Alabama football household, but Katie Jo has chosen to cheer for LSU because her Nana does. :) Joey tells her she is in rebellion.
80, House Mom, Leaves
80!!!! That, my friends, is how many days of school we have accomplished!!!! Woo Hoo!!! Our goal is to get to 100 before we take off for Christmas.We finish up our school year with 140-160 days. It just doesn't take as long to accomplish everything at home. :) I hope to be done before baby gets here, and then we will take off until June or so and start next year up.
When I am done doing a few other things, I plan on getting together a Thanksgiving "unit" for the next week and a half. I also hope to start on our Christmas unit. We are doing Thankful Trees right now. Each family member has their own tree and they write things on pieces of paper (leaves) that they are thankful for and then glue them on their tree. It has been fun. I am planning on doing a Christmas Thankful Tree as well and we will write our thankful things on pieces of paper that will be ornaments.
Josiah is doing really well with his reading!! He is reading through a book about Red Foxes right now and he is really enjoying it. Math is still his strong subject, and he is breezing through it.
Katie Jo is getting better with reading. I will admit that many days I want to pull my hair out! If someone else would teach them to read, then I would take over from there. Haha!! She is doing really well with math as well. Her favorite thing is to craft. She comes up with her own masterpieces. :)
I was hoping to start drawing in Jan, but I'm not sure I will be able to get the supplies, so it may be summer before we get to that. And that is OK!!! We have slacked off on science the last couple of months. We did a little study with Chemistry, and I hope to do a butterfly garden in the spring. We will be doing history with Thanksgiving and Christmas. We will also be doing history after Christmas when we jump into "Samantha, An American Girl". I need to get started planning all that!!!
Eli is just doing his thing. LOL I'm not worried about him. He is picking up bits and pieces as he listens to the others.
We have started focusing on a verse a week to work on as a family. We started with Deuteronomy 6:4-5, then Proverbs 3:5-6, and this week we are doing 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18. I love sitting at the breakfast table going over the verses and discussing them. We started our scripture memorization with Psalm 23, and each morning we discussed a part of a verse.
I love being able to spend the day with my kids!!!!
Katie Jo came in the kitchen the other day and said she liked house moms. I asked her what that was. She said it is a mom that stays home and takes care of her kids and house. :) And she said she was glad that I was a house mom! Me too!!! If you ask me what my job is, then I will gladly tell you, "I am a house mom." :)
We have enjoyed the leaves falling! The kids have jumped in them a few times already, and hopefully we will get a few more jumps in before they are all shredded up. LOL I love when the wind blows and it looks as though it is raining leaves. What a wonderful work God has made!!!
Sorry for them being blurry! I usually do better at action shots, but they were just too fast for me that day. :)
When I am done doing a few other things, I plan on getting together a Thanksgiving "unit" for the next week and a half. I also hope to start on our Christmas unit. We are doing Thankful Trees right now. Each family member has their own tree and they write things on pieces of paper (leaves) that they are thankful for and then glue them on their tree. It has been fun. I am planning on doing a Christmas Thankful Tree as well and we will write our thankful things on pieces of paper that will be ornaments.
Josiah is doing really well with his reading!! He is reading through a book about Red Foxes right now and he is really enjoying it. Math is still his strong subject, and he is breezing through it.
Katie Jo is getting better with reading. I will admit that many days I want to pull my hair out! If someone else would teach them to read, then I would take over from there. Haha!! She is doing really well with math as well. Her favorite thing is to craft. She comes up with her own masterpieces. :)
I was hoping to start drawing in Jan, but I'm not sure I will be able to get the supplies, so it may be summer before we get to that. And that is OK!!! We have slacked off on science the last couple of months. We did a little study with Chemistry, and I hope to do a butterfly garden in the spring. We will be doing history with Thanksgiving and Christmas. We will also be doing history after Christmas when we jump into "Samantha, An American Girl". I need to get started planning all that!!!
Eli is just doing his thing. LOL I'm not worried about him. He is picking up bits and pieces as he listens to the others.
We have started focusing on a verse a week to work on as a family. We started with Deuteronomy 6:4-5, then Proverbs 3:5-6, and this week we are doing 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18. I love sitting at the breakfast table going over the verses and discussing them. We started our scripture memorization with Psalm 23, and each morning we discussed a part of a verse.
I love being able to spend the day with my kids!!!!
Katie Jo came in the kitchen the other day and said she liked house moms. I asked her what that was. She said it is a mom that stays home and takes care of her kids and house. :) And she said she was glad that I was a house mom! Me too!!! If you ask me what my job is, then I will gladly tell you, "I am a house mom." :)
We have enjoyed the leaves falling! The kids have jumped in them a few times already, and hopefully we will get a few more jumps in before they are all shredded up. LOL I love when the wind blows and it looks as though it is raining leaves. What a wonderful work God has made!!!
Sorry for them being blurry! I usually do better at action shots, but they were just too fast for me that day. :)
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