I don't want my kids to be alright!

"I did that growing up, and I turned out alright." ~pick the person

How many times have you heard those words?

It worked for my generation.

We got to do that.

What is so bad about ..., we aren't that bad.

Pick your version. As a parent we make many decisions on how to raise our children every single day. We have all heard these sayings in one form or another.

Well, you know what!?!  I don't want my kids to be "alright"!!!

I want my kids to have life more abundantly.

There is a thief that is in our world to steal, kill and destroy. Am I just trying to get my kids through life? Is alright enough?

NO!

Jesus is not just "alright". He is ABUNDANT!

There is more to life than alright. I don't want to get to heaven and have to tell God, "Well, they are alright, aren't they? They aren't breaking the Big 10. They are good people."

What would I hear? "Good doesn't have anything to do with it. It is all about Jesus! If they aren't living life for Him, then they aren't alright. What have they missed out on by being alright instead of abundant. I came for them to have life more abundantly!"

God's rules aren't here to make life hard and boring. They are here for me to have freedom! For me to have abundance! I want more than "alright"! I want JESUS! I want my kids to have Jesus!

Just because something is good, doesn't mean it is edifying. Just because it doesn't "hurt" in the moment, doesn't mean that it is life giving for the next moment.

We live in a world of do what feels good and you will be alright. What feels good isn't always what is good. It isn't life giving and abundant!

Am I feeding my children life or alright?!

I'm not talking food here (although that is definitely something to consider!), I am talking about everything that is in our day. The people we spend time with. The amount of time we spend in the Word and in prayer. The media that we allow to fill our children's minds. The activities that we allow them to engage in.

Even more than my children, I must look at myself!

Is my life "alright" or abundant?

Am I doing things because it's alright for her, so it must be alright for me?

Is Jesus my measuring stick?

Is my life putting in my children a desire to have life abundantly or to be alright?

 

 

 

I choose to let Jesus take over and give me life more abundantly! Only through surrender can He have control. He has to pull out the weeds in my garden (the next post on my heart, so stay tuned).

 

 



 Love, Michelle

Change

I believe change is going to be a big part of our lives in 2012. Timothy will be joining our family, we pray. We will be moving somewhere; there is a particular place we are praying for. We will get some kind of job, prayerfully in a church. We will be changing how we do things around here.

2011 was about growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus. I will continue to pray that prayer for my family. It has blessed us immensely this year, and I am very thankful for the ways in which God has had my family grow. He is growing us in our desires and priorities.

This year I want to take that even deeper. God has been changing mine and Joey's hearts in many ways. We took the plunge this year and told the kids that Santa isn't real. They really accepted it just fine! I wanted Christmas to be all about Jesus! Last year I brought up telling them about Santa, but our hearts weren't totally ready yet. I am realizing that our focus as a family is in the wrong place so many times! Christmas is a wonderful example because everyone is focused on self. What will I get? How many presents do I have? Me, me, me! But, our focus should be Jesus and giving. We tried to implement a focus change this year, and I plan to do even more next year.

But, I don't want our focus to be on Jesus only at Christmas time! I want our lives to be totally about Him.

I have been reading through Book Five of Psalms at night before going to bed. Sometimes I only get through one verse because it touches me so much, but lately I have been stuck on the same 8 verses. I just can't seem to move beyond them.

Psalm 119:8-16
How can a young man cleanse him way?
By taking heed according to Your word,
With my whole heart I have sought You;
Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!
Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You.
Blesse are You, O Lord!
Teach me Your statues.
With my lips I have declared
All the judgments of Your mouth.
I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies,
As much as in all riches.
I will meditate on Your precepts,
And contemplate Your ways.
I will delight myself in Your statutes;
I will not forget Your word.

All of these verses are rocking my world, but I am really rocked by verse 10 right now.

With my whole heart I have sought You;

Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!

Do I seek Jesus with my whole heart!?! Or is it just with the edges!?! Do I let Him have full access? Am I willing to change and let go of things I really like in order to truly be what He wants me to be? Am I wholeheartedly sold out for Jesus?

In all honesty, my answer to every one of those questions is "no". BUT!! (Don't you just love when it says, "But, God"!!!) But God is changing my heart! He is growing me. I want my answer to those questions to be a big resounding "YES"!!! I want to continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ my Lord and my Savior by wholeheartedly seeking after Him.

My word for me and my family is WHOLEHEARTEDLY! This year we are going to seek to seek after God and Jesus with our whole hearts. We are going to continue to grow, and prayerfully become a family after God's own heart. We are going to change because you cannot seek after Jesus wholeheartedly and not be changed!

This will not be easy!!! I will admit that there is a part of me that is wondering if I will have to let go of things I really like. But, then I think of the amazing things God will fill that place with! Look at the disciples! They dropped everything and went. Their eyes were only on Jesus. I can feel the changing stirring in my soul. It excites me. I am thankful for a husband to go on this journey with. I am thankful that we are changing the way our children are raised. I am thankful that God has called me to a higher standard as His child. I am thankful that He will be with me every step of the way.

I told Joey last night that everything needs to be laid on the table. We have discussed this many times with regard to the church, and how they (every single church) need to revision themselves and lay everything on the table and make sure it is all honoring God and doing what He wants it to. I believe there are times when He may call us to stop a ministry that is doing well because there is another one that needs more attention or is needed more. (That is a rabbit we can chase in another post. LOL) As a couple we need to look at everything we are doing as a family and/or not doing and make sure that it is all lining up with what God wants us to do. I honestly do not know what God may ask us to stop or start, or move away from a little bit, but I do know that His plan for us is good and His will is perfect. It may hurt as we are pruned and as we grow new roots because that is hard work, but we will be so thankful we did it!

So, here we go! We are off on a wholehearted journey toward Jesus!!! :) I hope to write more about the other verses in this section as well now that I have written about verse 10a. God's word is so amazing! Alive and moving still today if we let it!

Moving... in multiple ways

Life is purely crazy at the moment!!! God had things fall into place last Sun, Nov 20, in such a way that we are moving this week. We have been moving and are hoping to be done and have the all clean by Sunday evening. We have moved multiple times in the 9 yrs of our marriage (today is our 9th anniversary! Love you, Babe!!!!), but never have we done a slow move where smaller loads are taken daily. It is driving me crazy to have my house in such disarray! Do not ask Joey just how fun I have been to live with this week because you really don't want to know! ;) I will admit that my time with God has been entirely too short which has contributed to my stress level.

But, I believe that moving is affecting me emotionally as well. This is Janie Beth's house. All my memories of her are here. We are moving into another chapter of our lives. How does she fit in? She has a wonderful spot in the new house, and it is all set up (I'll take pics soon!). It looks great. But, this little move makes me wonder how she will fit in when we move when we get a job and move again. That will be a new world of people that don't know her story. Yet, her story is completely woven in our lives so she will defintely get known. It is just hard to move forward sometimes.

I also am amazed when I think of all Joey and I have been through in 9 yrs of marriage. We are making our 5th move since we got married. We have faced mountain tops and valleys! This move is a blessing, and God completely worked it out, but we are praying for God to move us to a church soon. We long to be serving in a church again. These 3 yrs of waiting have changed us and moved us further in our walks, and in our marriage. When we got married on November 30, 2002, I had no idea just who we would be and where we would be 9 yrs later!!! God has blessed us immensely!!! Our marriage is moving forward in ways we never could have imagined!

Our newest little one has been moving much more lately. I LOVE it!!!!! It brings a smile to my face, and sometimes a prick to my heart. We have our ultrasound next week, and I will admit that I am scared. I am praying that we see a healthy little one in there, and that everything looks great. But, I also know that that is not a guarantee. I truly want God's will done, but I also want mine done. I battle within myself quite often!! I know this little one is a blessing, and that God has a special plan for him or her in our family. I do not know how He plans to use this little one's life, but it will be for His glory!!! Thank You, Father, for that reminder!!!

So, we are moving in multiple ways. :) I am moving physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I pray that each and every move is according to God's will, and that they are each moving forward and upward. What a challenge that really is! How can I accomplish that? By looking to Jesus! Keep my eyes on Jesus; on the upward call of Christ. Following Jesus isn't meant to be easy or status quo. It is meant to grow and move.

I started this post with tears, and I am ending it with a smile. God met me here as I typed my heart. He gently reminded me of His perfect plan. He whispered to my heart that He is here and He loves me no matter what. What a wonderful, loving God we serve!!!!

Thank You, Abba! Thank You, Jesus!! There are really no other words to say. I love You! Thank You for moving in my life!! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

And God...

So, I'm going to be completely honest. I have not been in the best place lately. I have felt as though I am standing in the mud and I am surrounded by fog. The mud is weighing my feet down where I don't feel as though I have enough energy to take a step, and I don't have a clue which way to take a step because the fog is so thick I can't see more than a few inches in front of me.

How did I get here? I am not totally sure, but I know it doesn't take long to get here. You just have to stick your toe in the crack of the door and before you know it the door is wide open. I think there are several things that have contributed. For some reason I have more nerves this pregnancy than my last pregnancy. I think a lot of this stems from the fact that life is so uncertain right now. Which is another contributor. We are coming up on 3 yrs without a job in November. I am amazed that we have been in this place for this long!!! I am weary. I long for God to open a door; to shed some light; to be Big! I feel forgotten. I wonder if our lives will be like this forever. (When I let my thoughts start running away like this, it is so easy to spiral down!!! I need to find my trusty Bible verse notebook to pull out during these moments!)

I also feel as though I have stopped cherishing life. I have built my trusty walls back up!! This makes me so mad because I really thought God and I had done some work on tearing them down after Janie Beth died. I pray that they are not as thick this time, and though the battle will be hard, we will begin to tear them down for good this time. These walls affect most every area of my life, and I am ready for these chains to be broken once and for all! I think the hugeness (is that even a word LOL) of this battle has been looming before me and instead of going into it, I have been running. :O This, of course, pushes God away! It starts a horrible cycle! I run, so I don't do my prayer and quiet times, so I distance myself from God and feel more alone, so I run harder because there is no way I can fight this battle without Him and He is not close enough, so then I do less prayer and quiet time, ect. ect.!

I admitted to a couple friends tonight that I haven't been doing my times like I should, and I guess being open with others convicted me more! Then, I went and read an amazing blog post (here). It spoke to me down deep. I decided I was off to spend some time with God and read Psalm 113 for myself. Well, I should have known God would have other plans. :)

I opened my Bible to the Psalms. I was flipping back to find 113 and came across some verses that I had underlines in Psalm 138. BAM! There was God!!! He was waiting for me. He has been waiting ever so patiently for me to realize the error of my ways and run back to Him instead of away from Him.

Verse 8  The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; do not forsake the works of Your hands.

WOW!! God is going to perfect that which concerns me!!!! He knows everything that is going on in my life. He knows my deepest desires and fears. He is going to perfect that job He has for our family. He is going to perfect His call on my life. He will help me tear down these walls!!! I already have victory in Jesus, so I should not fear failure. Setbacks, yes, but ultimate failure, no not unless I choose to quit the battle. God has a purpose for my life. He knows the kind of woman, wife, and mother I want to be, and He wants even more than that for me! He will do it! His mercy endures forever as I fall and trip and stumble throughout the battle. He will uplift when I fall and catch me when I trip. He will give me all that I need. He is working! We are going to conquer this promise land that He has for me! What a Mighty God we serve!!!! He will not stop working on me until I get to Heaven.  Thank You, Father!!!!

Father God, more than anything I ask for Your forgiveness for my fear and my running away; for my lack of faith and my selfishness. May You wash me white as snow through the precious blood of Jesus. Pick me up and wipe me off. My life is still surrounded by fog as I have no idea what the future holds or what steps You have next for us, but I will stand on Your promises. You are working all things together for our good and Your glory! You are never going to leave us! You are going to do exceedingly abundantly above all we could ever ask or think. I am ready for the battle, Father. I will put on Your armor. I am ready to attack these walls and be free from the bondage and live my life to the fullest through Jesus Christ. I am Yours! Mold me, fill me, use me, change me! Thank You for loving me so much! Thank You for waiting for me. You never moved, only me. You stood firm gently calling. Thank You!!! I need You. Thank You that You are going to perfect that which concerns me!!! You are Awesome! You are Mighty to Save! I love You, Abba!!! Draw me close to You. I want to fall more in love with You. Thank You for this battle so that You can do just that in my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Curriculum 2011-2012

When people ask me what our curriculum is this year I think I need to ask them how long they have to listen. LOL We are a hodge podge this year.

Devotion: Leading Little Ones to God

Bible: AWANA
         Bible Stories A-Z
I am trying to coordinate all of this and really use it, not just memorize the verses.

Character: Peacemaking Skills for Little Kids
               Our 24 Family Ways

Phonics:
Josiah: Primary Language Lessons & reading aloud
Katie Jo: My Father's World 1st grade
Eli: learning one letter a week using the Bible Stories A-Z

Math:
Josiah & Katie Jo: moving to Singapore we think. It is on its way in the mail.
Eli: recognizing at least 1-10

Science:
Science Wiz Chemistry: Solids, Liquids, Gases (lasts about 4-5 wks)
My Father's World science (Usborne books)

History:
Planning on taking a month and doing a study on "Little House in the Big Woods"
Taking a couple weeks and going a Highlights Top Secret Adventure
(no science during these studies)

Extras:
Drawing with Children
Crafts here and there to do with Bible story
Thankful notebooks
Life Skills (chores)


We will not do every subject every day. The devotion, Bible, and character are definite daily activities. We are planning on utilizing Burritt Museum come the fall as well. The last week and a half we have found a good routine that is working for the time being, but I am sure it will change as the year goes. :) We are growing this year and that takes the ability to go with the flow and change. :)

2011-2012 School Year

Our school year kicked off July 6. Josiah is in 2nd grade; Katie Jo is in 1st grade; and Eli is in Pre-K. Joy Schelle is just along for the ride. :) She tends to nap during school. We have been in full swing the last week and a half.

Saturday began some allergy issues for me, so I am trying not to talk much today in hopes that I will be much better on Wed. No that isn't a typo! We aren't doing school on Tuesdays until next week because I am doing a Bible study. So, I am here typing since the kids are playing well together and it doesn't require talking. :)

I am really excited about this year! We are trying to lay our foundation for our family; not only in the basics of phonics and such but also spiritually and characterly (new word LOL). One of the main character traits we are hoping to conquer, at least in small steps, is self-control. :O Along those lines is obedience also.

When I went to my trusty white board to see how to accomplish this, God amazed me!

We started in 2 Peter1:5-7
But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to irtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.

So, obviously there are a few things we have to go through in order to get to self-control. It isn't first on the list!

FAITH:
What is faith?
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the eveidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

Where does it come from? God, Jesus
God has dealt to each one a measure of faith Romans 12:3
Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith Hebrews 12:2

What is part in instilling faith in my children? How?
So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
Romans 10:17 
Immerse them in Scripture!!! Hide it in their hearts.

VIRTUE:
What does it mean?
conduct that agrees with what is morally right

What does God say?
I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:1-3

God has given each one faith and He then wants us to walk worthy.

How do we know how to walk worthy?
In Ephesians He tells us with lowliness, gentleness, longsuffering, bearing with one another, and trying to keep unity and peace. That is a tall order!

How do we learn how to do those things?? In comes the next word in the list...

KNOWLEDGE:
grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
2 Peter 3:18

GROW! That is our word for the year, and this is our verse for the year!!! I just stood in amazement at how God brings everything together! He called us to this before we even started the school year. He knew that we would need to lean on this verse in multiple ways this year. In order to build our foundation we have to grow.

SELF-CONTROL:
How do we grow self-control? The Holy Spirit grows it!
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

Do I have a part?
I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20
I must crucify my ego!! It is not "I"!

Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. Matthew 24:16
I have to deny myself.

Self-control is self-denial! I am yeilding to Jesus and allowing Him to reign in me. This is not an easy task! It is a long task that will last my entire life... which leads to...

PERSEVERANCE:
Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, Hebrews 12:1

We are to run the race with endurance. We can look at those who went before us and finished well. This verse leads right into Hebrews 12:2 that God showed me at the very beginning of this journey in His word. Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I am to look to Jesus! I am to look at the joy that is set before me! What is the joy set before me?? Taking up my cross of discipling my children; of breaking down my walls and denying myself in order to be Jesus to others. I am praying that I will run this race with endurance so that my children may look to me as a witness that went before them that they can look to. I pray that they will live lives full of wholehearted faith and devotion in Jesus totally in love with Him! May this be true of me as well!!

This is a high calling, but the calling of motherhood is high! It is a calling of self-denial. This journey through the word that God started me on as I was seeking to teach my children ended up teaching me and showing me what I need to do. The best way to teach my children is by example. This growing will not be easy, but how beautiful the garden will look when it is Jesus flowers that are growing instead of Michelle flowers.

I don't know what all God has in store for us this school year, but I know He is going to grow us all in the grace and knowledge of Jesus!

Thank You, Abba, for the privilege of teaching my children! May You continue Your good work in me and mold me. Break down the walls around my heart. Thank You that Your burden is light and Your yoke is easy. I choose today to deny myself and take up my cross. May You help me. May You lead me. May You bless this new school year. May You plant seeds and water them and grow them as we learn more of Jesus and hide Your word in our hearts. I give this year to You. Thank You for the many blessings You are going to bring our way. May we use them to bless You. I love You! Thank You for loving me so much. Thank You for meeting me and talking to me through Your word! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Here is my summary that I hope to put up somewhere so that I remember all year what God has taught me.

Faith --> live morally right --> by learning about Jesus --> have self-control to walk worthy --> endure the race --> looking to Jesus

Fruit

Proverbs 20:11

So, I have this weird thing where I look up verses that have the same month and day. For instance, my birthday is April 4, so I have gone through the Bible and looked up all the 4th verses in the 4th chapter of each book in the Bible.

I decided to go through the Bible and look up all 20:11's for the year 2011. I actually did this before I picked my word for the year. There were a couple good ones, but one in particular became our verse for the year.

Proverbs 20:11 Even a child is known by his deeds, whether what he does is pure and right.
I will be the first to admit that I am SLOW!!! We have already memorized the beginning of this verse as a family. We used it in a devotional out of an awesome book! (Click here to see it) We have talked about it quite often and about the deeds the kids should have. I love the whole verse because it tells you what kind you should have.

But, back to me being slow!! It never crossed my mind that this verse pertained to me. Stupid, I know, but as I said I am SLOW sometimes. LOL Since it says "even a child" that must mean that adults are also known by their deeds. In order for it to say even, someone else must have the same requirement. WOW! I am also known by my deeds, whether what I do is pure and right.

This started out, in my mind, as the verse for the children, but it has become my verse for the year also. This verse goes right along with our word GROW. In order for us to know the pure and right things to do, we must allow God to grow in His influence of us. Since we are wanting to grow in our influence of others, we must have deeds that are pure and right because we are examples to others!!

I had been thinking of our word and verse separately, but realized last night that they go hand in hand. Amazing how God does things like that!!! :) He had them on the same page from the get go; I just had to catch up!

I hope to get this verse and 2 Peter 3:18 up in our house in the next week or so in order for us to remember! You know the saying, out of sight out of mind!! I do not want that to happen.

I am so excited to see the plans God has for us in 2011. Jeremiah 29:11!!

GROW

but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen. 2 Peter 3:18

To "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" is our goal for this year. GROW is my word for the year. Our main growing goal is this verse, and I am excited to see how else God is going to grow our family and lives throughout this year.

Many words came to mind when I thought about this year, but this one is the one that God is calling us to. He is calling us to grow deeper; to have crazy faith. :)

He is calling us/me to grow in our influence. I have been hanging out in 1 Thessalonians for the last few weeks and the first 4 chapters are all about being the example you are supposed to be for others. (I haven't finished ch. 4 and haven't started ch. 5 yet.) I just soak up the words!! They are amazing!
1 Thessalonians 1:3-4 work of faith, labor of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ in the sight of our God and Father, knowing, beloved brethren, your election by God. WOW!! That is some powerful stuff right there. I feel as though these verses are going to sum up the next chapter of our lives. As we grow in our influence of others it is going to be a mighty work of faith, labor of love, and be full of patience of hope in Jesus!!!! Through all the work, labor, and patience, we will have to keep our eyes on the promise that we are elected by God!
Then, in verse 5 Paul says that the gospel they presented to the Thessalonians didn't come to them in word only, but in power and in the Holy Spirit! Oh, may that be true of us. May all those that we share the gospel with receive it in power and in the Holy Spirit!!! Because in so doing, they will move on to verse 6 and become followers of the Lord, and in turn they will become examples for others.

It is scary to realize just how far your example goes!! I have so much to work on in myself that it scares me to think that others are watching me! May my faith go our before me so that I need not have to say anything! (verse 8)

This will start in my own home. God is calling for changes in our home. He is calling us to really get the foundation down so that we can build successfully. In order to do this, I have to take steps back and start over.

God is calling me to grow as a wife and mother. My calling as a mother is to raise up godly young men and women! In order for me to do that I have to grow, and we have to grow in our family walk with God. I am excited to see what all God is going to do as we get back to the basics. We are going to grow in our use of scripture; in our memorization of scripture; and in our practice of scripture. I hope that we will grow in our love for God and our love for others.

My calling as a wife still baffles me. :) It is so deep and there are so many layers. I pray that God will truly grow me into the Proverbs 31 wife that He wants me to be. I want to grow in my ability to encourage and affirm.

As far as everything else... it will all be used to work toward our goal of growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord! Whether it is school, play, chores, fellowship, whatever, it will all be working toward "growth in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ".

We do not know the extent of growth that will occur over this year, but I do know that it will be "exceedingly abundantly above all we could ever ask or think according the power that works in us" Eph 3:20. I am excited to see all the ways of growth that God has in store for us in 2011. I pray that this is the beginning of a lifetime of growth for the Karr family!! May we grow gardens full of God's fruit! :)