"And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live." Deuteronomy 30:6

but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.
2 Peter 3:18

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Janie's Memories

This was a sad week at our local hospital. In one day 4 babies were delivered into heaven. It hit me so hard! All I could do was think about those nurses, doctors, and parents. It brought Janie Beth to mind also. I was really missing her that day and still now as Tuesday the 29th approaches. This will be the first time that the 29th falls on a Tuesday since December 29 when Janie Beth was born. I am hoping to go up to the hospital and bring something special to the L&D nurses, as well as NICU and the 3rd floor nurses that took care of me. My precious baby girl would be 6 months old. WOW!!!

I have been watching Delivery shows/Baby story shows to try and see some women go through natural labor. On Friday all I could think about was the difference between the births I was watching and the births of those beautiful babies on Thursday. Those mothers, which I don't even know, were on my mind constantly. The difference between those births and Janie Beth's births. I sit anxiously waiting for the babies to cry, even though I know they are ok or they wouldn't be on the show. It makes me think of birthing this baby and wonder how it is going to go.

My heart aches wondering if those families were able to make the memories that we made. We knew ahead of time, so we prepared and bought things to make memories and read about the things we might want to do so that we wouldn't regret anything.

This has been stewing in my mind constantly too. (My mind has been busy. LOL I guess it should happen ever once in a while. :)) I would love to be able to start a ministry that the hospital/doctor's can call when a baby has died in the womb or unbeknownst to the parents is going to pass shortly after birth that can bring things for them to make memories with. To have a list of things they may want to do with their precious little one's. To try to be there and help them through those whirlwind days. I have no idea where to start or how to start, but I have faith that my God is big enough to get it all worked out if this ministry in Janie Beth's honor is to come about.

I am so thankful that I knew ahead of time that she would not grace us with her presence for very long. I was able to have the time to get things organized and prepared as much as possible. We could have bought stock in Hobby Lobby with the money we gave them during the 6 weeks before Janie Beth's birth. I pray that no mother has to get home and wish she had done something else. Regrets can get consuming if we let them, and to be able to help some others not have as many regrets. I know there are pretty much always going to be some sort of regret, but to give them the opportunity to have more to be thankful for than be regretful about.

I am excited to see what God does!!!


  1. Maybe you can make up a Memory Basket for the families. Have in it items you were grateful you had, and contact to services, like photography and memorial items.
    You could even write a little book/booklet with your story, sympathy, support, encouragement, those service contacts, and advice. You can get a few copies printed at office supply stores for not too much.
    So, if you present yourself to L/D/R floor as a contact you already have a basket you can "grab & run" Just an idea :)

  2. I have thought of doing the same thing I just need to get it going. I have a friend that we make baby blakets together and now I just need to get the other supplies together. I was thinking of including the same things I received from Laura at string of pearls (her link is on my blog) supplies for making a plaster cast of hands and feet, something to put hand and foot prints on, an outfit, Cabot cream to help dry up milk, sage tea to help dry up milk, a journal, a cd with music, and links to supportive websites. Of coarse local phone number to the Now I Lay Me down to sleep photographers. Maybe we could brain storm together.

  3. I've often wondered how I would do things differently if I had known that Lily was going to die that day...I have so many regrets...

    This is the first time that I've visited your blog so I'll have to get caught up with your story...

    Sorry for your loss of Janie Beth ((hugs))

  4. Michelle,
    Oh my goodness. I am trying to catch my breath. We, too, are coming up to 6 months on Thursday. And to say that this anniversary is tough is an understatement. I pray your heart finds peace and comfort this week, even in the tears (I find comfort in my tears). I am thinking of you often. Much love.