200th

Really, I have written that many posts!?! This is my 200th post, and my blog was started in December 2009. How things have changed since then!?! I was trying to think of some cute post to do, but I am just not in a real cute mood the last couple of days. :) I figured I would just do an update today on different things since December 2009.

Janie Beth would be the biggest thing that has happened since I started this blog. I started it to share her story in one place and not have to remember who I had emailed and who I hadn't. Then, it became my journey after Janie Beth, and now it is our family's journey after Janie Beth. There are still hard days. Things can still set me on a downward spiral if I am not expecting them. It still hurts that she isn't here and I won't get to hold her or kiss her again until Heaven. I love her! She has blessed me and changed me and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. There are still moments when I hold her lamb and cry. The hard steps are not over. But, by the grace of God, I take them.

All the other kids have had birthdays. :) We now house a 6, 5, and 3 year old. :) Homeschooling kind of stopped after Janie Beth and we will be starting up a couple days a week in July. The kids are excited to be starting 1st grade and Kindergarten. (They will be doing the same work. :)) Eli exceeded expectations in his potty training and will be in paci boot camp very soon. (He still has one in the bed.) They are enjoying the warmer weather and getting to go outside. Katie Jo still misses Janie Beth, as I am sure the others do too, but she voices it more. She wants the "Go to Sleep" song every night because it has a verses about Janie in it. Janie Bear still travels with us most of the time, but she does have to stay in the car more now. She is in dire need of a bath. :)

We are still job hunting, but we are still in contention with a few churches. God has provided the means to live for quite some time, so the only thing really hurting is our patience. :) I do not know God's plans, but I will stand on the promise that they are for our good and His glory and they will be made beautiful in their time!

Baby #5 seems to be coming along fine. I am 15 weeks now. I do not feel movement every day and I am doing my best to leave it in God's hands. Actually, I don't feel as though I feel movement many days. It is hard, but I am learning to walk by faith and not by feel. :) This baby has not made my Janie Beth journey any easier, in fact in some ways it is harder. I go back to the doctor June 10.

I am working on becoming the wife and mother God wants me to be. It is hard work!! Old habits die hard! It is also hard to find the balance of what is right for your family. Every family can't follow a book exactly. But, God brought me to Psalm 32:8-9 today.

I will unstruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye, do not be like the horse or like the mule, which have no understanding, which must be harnessed with bit and bridle, else they will not come near you.

God is going to show me the way. He is instructing me in the way I should go. The key is whether I am listening and letting Him lead me. I find in this verse the I should instruct and guide my children in the way God does me. I found comfort in the fact that God cares enough to take the time to show me the way. I pray that I will not be like the horse and mule, and neither will my children.

So, God has done many things in the our lives over these last 6 months. I am excited to see what He does in our lives over the next 6 months.