"And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live." Deuteronomy 30:6

but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.
2 Peter 3:18

Friday, December 17, 2010

A Moment

I all of the sudden felt the need to cry, to bawl. Why? What brought it on? I do not know for sure. Maybe it is...

the fact that a dear lady just had a miscarriage

the fact that my kids talk about Janie Beth to visitors and try to show them her pictures. It touches my heart that they don't forget and they want to share her too!

the fact that we are going to look at Christmas lights tonight and Janie Beth went with us last year

the fact that I am done Christmas shopping and there is nothing for her

the fact that I saw the same "J" Christmas flag on another baby girl's grave picture on another blog, and it made me want to go sit with her and see her

the fact that we are going to meet some friends to play that I called on on very hard days in January to meet us to play (not sure why it is different this time.)

the fact that Josiah's birthday is tomorrow

the fact that I want her remembered!!! And I was overwhelmed when Joey searched his name on google and the article that was written here about NILMDTS has been published in many papers, esp Christian ones, around the United States. Janie Beth has travelled further than I have! I pray she touched many lives. Wow!!! She isn't forgotten!

the fact that a dear friend didn't forget Janie Beth!! She even remembered her when it snowed. Thank you, Erin!!!

My heart didn't start out heavy today, but it is now. Grief has a mind of its own!

Abba Father, please come in and heal my heart!! God deeper than my pain! Carry me through these days. I miss her so much! Be big, God. Please, be big! I need You in ways I do not even realize. I lean on You more than I even realize. I pray that I love You deeper than I realize. I want to love You more. Thank You for this time of celebrating Jesus' birth!!! Thank You for making a way for my family to one day be all together again! Please save each member of my family so that they can be with us in Heaven, so we can praise You all together. Please give Janie Beth an extra hug for me! Tell her I love her. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

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