In Sunday School, or Life Group (whatever you want to call it ;)), we were discussing God's love. We were to discuss as a class if we had had a moment when it clicked that God loves us and we love Him. Although, it was phrased much better than that. This has been going over in my head since then.
I was actually praying last year that God would draw me more in love with Him. God has drawn me closer to Him in the last 6 months, and I love Him deeper than I have before in my life. I have also had other times in my life where God has drawn me closer to truly loving Him. Were these in easy times? No. Were they always tragic times in my life? No. But, they were times when I had to struggle. They were times when I had to rely on God. They were times when God was more real to me and teaching me. Have I learned about God in the good times? Sure, but not in the same way. You learn about His goodness, and often times that becomes your focus instead of God Himself.
I am not saying that everyone needs to have a tradegy to truly love God. But, God will have to break you in order for you to lose yourself and gain Him. Many of my falling in love with God times was having to face a sin in my life and replace it with God. Forgiving someone is hard sometimes, and I drew nearer to God by having to have Him forgive through me. Being in a place that we were not content with being in drew me closer to God. It made me seek Him and what He wanted in my life. Digging into His word and applying it to my life draws me closer. I love doing Bible studies that have been written by wonderful people of faith and I have grown in amazing ways through some of them. But, studying God's word for myself is awesome too!! When God opens my eyes and shows me His truth, it is amazing. And to think that He loves me and that is why He shows me.
Tradegy is a major way that God draws me closer to Him. When I prayed that prayer last year, I had no idea that God would use Janie Beth to draw me closer to Him by taking her to heaven, but you know what? If I had to go back and relive last year, I would still pray that prayer knowing what would happen. Do I want tradegy in my life? No, but the rainbows in the rain are so much brighter! I wish I could get close to God by life being rosy all the time, but that is not our human nature.
A dear lady once said that she prays for God to break her. That can be a scary prayer when you think of all God could do. But, it is for my good and His glory. He has brought me through some rough times, and I know He will bring me through whatever is in my path. I will chose to remember and stand on God's promises!! He will bring me, the pot of clay, through the fire and I will be a vessel for Him.
I love God, but I know I have far to go. I will never love Him wholly until I get to heaven. He will bring me deeper throughout my life as we travel this road of life together. Each step will be different, and some harder than others. But, I would rather take those steps than stay where I am!
Thank You Abba for loving me enough to put obstacles of all different kinds in my way to draw me closer to You!!! I love You, and I pray that You will draw me closer to You and deeper in love with You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.