"And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live." Deuteronomy 30:6

but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.
2 Peter 3:18

Thursday, May 6, 2010


That is where I have found myself this afternoon and evening. Mother's Day has been on mind and I have been feeling quite sorry for myself. I have been living through this week pretending that Mother's Day wasn't really coming or going to happen. Denial is easy, but so cruel! Once you come out of it, it hits you like a ton of bricks. I have just been focusing on trying to make it through the day and baby dedication and just putting myself on auto-pilot. There is no telling what I would have looked like Sunday morning if I was in auto-pilot mode! LOL

Anyways, tonight in my time with God I realized what I had been doing. I sought His forgiveness and asked Him to change my heart. He is so cool when you do that sincerely because He does it. :) Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I am going to let God use me as His hands. What could be better!?! I want to bring Him glory through this journey and bring others hope. God is still there and He loves us just as much today when we are hurting as He did yesterday before the storm started, if not more.

I still miss Janie Beth! I still wish I was dedicating her to the Lord this Sunday with all those other precious little ones. But, I will be thankful that she is dedicated wholy to the Lord in His presence! How could a baby dedication be any better? She is beholding His true glory and presence. I want to hold her and kiss her and my heart still aches, but I have peace and joy because my focus is different. The Lord truly is strong where we are weak! Amen!!!

As you go through this Mother's Day remember that many are hurting and rejoicing. It is bittersweet. I will cherish my children that God has allowed me to still have here on earth, but I will long for Janie Beth too. Give someone a hug who looks like they are miles away. It may not be that she has lost a baby, but rather that she longs for one and God has not given her one yet. Mother's Day is hard for so many, and sadly I never realized it until it was hard for me.

Here I am with each of my babies the day they made me a mother.
Katie Jo
Janie Beth


  1. What a sweet post. I love the pictures of all your babies. I will be thinking about you Sunday - wishing you were up there with us as we dedicate Kate. But you are so right about Janie Beth being perfectly dedicated. Praying for you this weekend!

  2. You are such a beautiful Momma, Michelle. You are just as much a Momma as anyone else on Mother's Day. I believe the angels in heaven will be pointing you out to Janie Beth on Mother's Day. . . "There's your Momma, Janie Beth. Isn't she lovely?" :) I love you, my friend and Supermom. You rock.

  3. Michelle,
    I wish I had your strength. There will be baby dedications at our church this Sunday, and I have chosen to stay home. Sometimes I just think maybe Mother's Day could just pass ME by. Maybe I could just sleep through Sunday. But I know God doesn't want that for me. He will meet me wherever I am and I have hope that something wonderful will happen. And honestly, denying myself Mother's Day means denying our daughter of the gift she gave me. So we will be spending Sunday crying, laughing, hugging, remembering. And God will be there.

    Many prayers and hugs to you and your family on this bittersweet, yet most joyous, day.


  4. Beautiful pictures Michelle, and beautiful post. We will keep you in prayer this Sunday, and I love what your friend Julie said, about the angels pointing you out to Janie Beth.

    Keeping you in prayer and send a huge hug to you. Marybeth