Anyways, tonight in my time with God I realized what I had been doing. I sought His forgiveness and asked Him to change my heart. He is so cool when you do that sincerely because He does it. :) Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I am going to let God use me as His hands. What could be better!?! I want to bring Him glory through this journey and bring others hope. God is still there and He loves us just as much today when we are hurting as He did yesterday before the storm started, if not more.
I still miss Janie Beth! I still wish I was dedicating her to the Lord this Sunday with all those other precious little ones. But, I will be thankful that she is dedicated wholy to the Lord in His presence! How could a baby dedication be any better? She is beholding His true glory and presence. I want to hold her and kiss her and my heart still aches, but I have peace and joy because my focus is different. The Lord truly is strong where we are weak! Amen!!!
As you go through this Mother's Day remember that many are hurting and rejoicing. It is bittersweet. I will cherish my children that God has allowed me to still have here on earth, but I will long for Janie Beth too. Give someone a hug who looks like they are miles away. It may not be that she has lost a baby, but rather that she longs for one and God has not given her one yet. Mother's Day is hard for so many, and sadly I never realized it until it was hard for me.
Here I am with each of my babies the day they made me a mother.