"And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live." Deuteronomy 30:6

but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.
2 Peter 3:18

Thursday, February 4, 2010

February 4, Check Up Day

It is here. Today is the day I go back to the doctor for my post partem check up. I am going back to the doctor's office that Janie Beth always went to with me. A place that is supposed to be filled with joy. The place that we saw her multiple times and heard her heart beat strong. A place that has pictures of babies all over!! Abba Father, help me!!!! This is going to be a hard morning. I wish I could just skip this appointment. I wish I was bringing Janie Beth to show off like all the other mommies do at their check ups. The walk from the car to the office will feel like the green mile. Just driving up the parking garage will hurt. We will be so close to the cemetary too, and we will be right by the hospital where Janie Beth lived. I pray it isn't raining so we can stop by and see her for a few minutes after the appointment. This winter has been very rainy and I haven't gotten to visit as much as I would like. May you all please lift us up in prayer today.

Added to this I got our list for the Valentine's Day party for our homeschool group. By the name Karr is 2,3. Two for the adults and 3 for the children. Oh, how I wish that 3 was a 4. I would love to have her here to get a box of valentines because is she is loved so much. That party will be bittersweet just like so many other things in our lives right now.

Janie Beth is never far from the forefront of my mind. I am forever grateful for all that she is teaching me. It takes a tragedy to look at yourself honestly, and she has made me do that. May my heart continue to be softened toward God so that He can mold me through this journey.

Because He lives
I can face tomorrow
Because He lives
All fear is gone
Because I know
He holds the future
And life is worth the living
Just because He lives


  1. Praying for you today Michelle, as you go to the appt. I'm sure that will be a particularly tough one, but I'm standing in agreement with you that you can face it, with the Lord. He will be with you, and He will guide you through it. Praying for no rain too! Marybeth

  2. Praying for you today. I know it must be rough! I found this quote by Beth Moore today and thought I would share it with you.
    "Satan hopes our horrible experiences will cause us to live in the past. Now way - this pilgrim is moving forward, but I keep my experiences tucked in my backpack. It serves to warn me along my way and to be of any help to another sojourner."
    That is my prayer for you today as you move forward with such grace!
    Emily Eckley

  3. Michelle, I'm praying for you & sharing your pain today! God will see you through this with His love! I love you all & miss you so much!!!!!!!! Barbara

  4. Still thinking of you and praying for you! (((HUGS)) "D"