This week is proving to be a sad one for me. This is the week leading up to Janie Beth's due date. I go to the doctor for my check up on Thursday. A dear friend is further along now than I made it with Janie Beth. We have passed the one month mark and Katie Jo's birthday. I received Janie Beth's visitation and Celebration of Life pictures today. WOW! It really happened!?! I miss her so much! She was so beautiful.
When does the pain ease up? How much longer will I have a deep aching in my heart? Will I ever desire to do the normal things again? Will there be a day when cooking dinner isn't hard?
My devotion this morning was about God having compassion on us and hearing our prayers. I will stand on the promise that He is here and will never leave me nor forsake me whether I feel Him here or not. I will cling to the promise that He hears my prayers even when I don't see the answers yet. I will lean on the promise that He is working all things together for my good and His glory even when it doesn't feel like it. I will be thankful for all that God is doing in my life, marriage, and family. I will be thankful for the friends God has placed in my life. I will remember that I am not on the road alone and many are praying for me even as I feel like I am alone sometimes.
I realized last night that God hurts when I hurt, so no matter how alone I feel He is there and He cares. As I feel forgotten, God sends me a phone call from a friend. God is still taking care of me even as I struggle trudging through the mud. It will get harder as the mud piles on my boots, but there will come a day when they will land on the Rock and the mud will fall off and I will be able to take steps without pulling my legs up. Thank You, Abba, that Joey is trudging along with me hand in hand!!! Thank You, Father, that You are holding my other hand and lifting my head and guiding me with Your hand on my back!!!
Almighty Father, go deeper than my pain and begin to mold me back together. Thank You that You can penetrate that deep! Thank You for Your promises and Your faithfulness!! Lord, write my faith each moment of this day and provide all my other needs as each moment comes. I need You! Be with me as a consuming fire, Lord Jesus. Thank You for the Spirit that fills me. May He have access to every part of me. This is Your day. May You continue to bless us and keep us. Make Your face to shine upon us and be gracious to us. Lift up Your countenance upon us and give us peace. In Jesus' holy name I pray. Amen