I am so full of thankfulness that I had to put it here. I am so thankful that God knew exactly how our time with Janie Beth should go. I am so thankful for the time we had with her in the NICU. I am so thankful for the time we had with her in our room after disconnecting her. I am so thankful for keeping her with us overnight after she passed. I am so thankful that Joey and I spent the following morning with her and drove her to the funeral home ourselves. I am so thankful that God blessed me so much in those 3 days!!!
Today God is teaching me to love without reservation. I am choosing to love Janie Beth completely. When I do this I can still feel her in my arms. When I love her fully it brings a smile to my face. I believe I had begun to try loving my husband and children less over these last few weeks in order to protect myself. Well, today God showed me that I need to love. God and I are going to work on love, the first fruit of the Spirit. I am excited about all that He is teaching me and showing me. It hurts to be confronted with yourself, but it is freeing too. I am trying to allow God to mold me into someone that loves. Someone that loves others as myself. Someone that builds others up and encourages them because I love them. I pray that God will continue to grow love in me!!!! May I not do something or say something about anyone else that I wouldn't want done or said about me.
Father God, please mold me in Your image. May You continue to teach me. I love You! Thank You for chastising me as Your daughter. Thank You Lord for working all things in my life and blessing me so much!!!