Tantrums

Anyone else throw a tantrum with God? Be honest. :) As I was laying in bed with Eli during a tantrum, (Yes, tamiflu does cause 10x more moodiness in a 2 year old than just being 2 does.) I started thinking about how God reacts to my tantrums. I believe He reacts in different ways depending on the cause and the person. Just like the same things don't work for each of my children, the same things don't work for each of His children.

There are times He patiently waits for me to finish and come to Him. I am thankful that He is more patient than me!!!

There are times He sits me in "time-out" until I am done so that He can teach me and change me. I am of no use during a tantrum.

There are times when I am disciplined, spanked. I have to pay consequences for my actions.

I have had every one of those reactions from God, and I am sad to say that I do believe some of my tantrums have lasted for way too long!! I believe that I have been in time-out for months before. How sad!?! Losing Janie Beth has made me turn to God more quickly. I turned to Him immediately upon finding out she would die. I had my moments of tantrums, but even since her death I have turned to Him. How else would I make it through this journey??? I need to feel His loving arms around me. I need to hear Him wisper to my heart. I need to know that He is here and that He loves me.

I pray that my tantrums become fewer and farther between and one day nonexistent. It pains me to hurt my Father.

Thank You, Abba, for all You are teaching me!!!! I am so thankful that You made me Janie Beth's Mommy. Thank You for counting me worthy to walk this road. My heart longs for her, but my heart rejoices that she is in heaven and I will see her again. Thank You, Lord Jesus, for that reassurance. Lord, may You tame my tantrums and help me grow up in You. In many ways I am just like a toddler. Thank You for Your patience!! I love You! May You continue to shine Your light in my heart. You are so good!! In Jesus' name I pray. Amen