"And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live." Deuteronomy 30:6

but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.
2 Peter 3:18

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


I could really use some prayers. This past week through Sunday was very emotionally draining for me. As usual, I didn't really realize it until it was all over. I am still somewhat down, and praying for God to lift me up as I have slid down into the mud. Or so it feels. It has been 2 months and I still miss her so much it hurts. I still long to hold her and kiss her and tell her I love her. Just when I think I am doing pretty well, something happens that knocks me down. It could be something tiny, and totally unexpected that could send me into tears.

I am thankful for your prayers!! This is a slow journey, and grief has no time table so don't expect me to be great by now, especially because I have 3 other children. They cannot take Janie Beth's place.

I hope to post this afternoon, but you just never know. :) I have 3 new name pictures to share. Please keep them coming!!! It warms my heart so much to see that she and I are thought about.


  1. I think of you all so often Michelle... it IS a slow journey. There is no time frame. I remember so clearly some days wanting the grief to just be over; and other days I wanted to do nothing but sit in it.

    You are right, the blessing of your 3 other children do not take Janie Beth's place, just as I know the birth of our Eliana on Thursday won't take Isaac's place. The sweet children who have been lost can't be replaced.

    You are doing so well honoring yoru sweet daughter and our Lord through your journey. Praying for grace and peace as you continue on this road...

    ~ Stacy

  2. Michelle, I love this post and Stacy's comment as well. I do not have any other children but I worry often about how I will have to make sure that when I do have the next one, people fully understand that he/she is not replacing Olivia.

    I thought I was doing extremely well for the first month and a half or so, and then somehow it got much harder. The littlest things send me over the edge, and often times it feels like people expect me to be "back to normal" because it's been three months already. I have learned, though, that we have a NEW normal.

    You are in my prayers daily, and I am thinking of your beautiful Janie Beth