Turned a Corner

That is what I feel like I did last week after going by myself to the cemetary. God was so amazing that day!!! He touched me so deep in my soul and in my heart. It is something that I cannot explain. I feel as though God reached down and lifted me up. I am so thankful that I went that day.

The next day I woke up and decided that I would change my perspective and my attitude. Your attitude has so much to do with how you react to things. I decided that I was going to be thankful for the ways I can bring Janie Beth with me through each day and focus on what she has done for me instead of focusing on her not being here and missing her. I want to focus on my love for her instead of my longing for her. I want to look to Jesus and God and allow them to fill me with an attitude of gratitude. I want to cherish everything Janie has done for me and the many ways she touched me. It is a wonderful feeling to just love her; to let my heart swell with love. When I think of her it puts a huge smile on my face and sometimes brings tears to my eyes. She is so precious.

When I think of her in heaven, I think of how wonderful it is. She is seeing colors that I can't even imagine. She is in the presence of God!!!! She gets to sing with the angels. I can almost hear her voice. :) How precious!!!! I know she is beautiful. When I think of all that she is experiencing I realize that I would never want to bring her back here. Who would want to come here after experiencing heaven?? Who, Jesus!! Thank You, Jesus for being willing to come!!!!

Joey made an interesting observation shortly after Janie died. When Jesus wept on His way to Lazarus's tomb, perhaps He wept because He knew Lazarus would be coming back to earth from a wonderful place. He knew it was for the best, but His heart hurt for His friend. Can you imagine what Lazarus must have felt like coming back here?? If I were him, I would have been praying for God to take me back.

I feel like I did that Tuesday at her grave. I am in the midst of a storm, but it is ok because there is a huge ray of Sonshine piercing through the clouds and shining on my face. I know I will still have bad moments and days; things will get me that I never expect for the rest of my life, but I feel as though God is truly picking up the pieces and putting them back together in the way He wants them. He is filling the cracks with His grace. He is drawing me near in a different way. He is wonderful!!!!

God is so good.
God is so good.
God is so good.
He's so good to me.

He loves me so.
He loves me so.
He loves me so.
He's so good to me.

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Thank You, Abba for being so good to me! Thank You for loving me and knowing exactly what I need. You are amazing! I pray that others will see You when they look at me. May You continue to have Your way in my life and mold me into the woman You want me to be. I love You!! Thank You for Heaven. Thank You Jesus for coming and dying for me and for my baby girl. Thank You for Janie Beth. Thank You for Joey. Thank You for Josiah. Thank You for Katie Jo. Thank You for Eli. Thank You for my family and friends. I am blessed beyond measure!! In Jesus' name I pray. Amen