Yesterday was a day filled with firsts. The firsts are HARD!!! Yesterday made it one week since Janie Beth went to Heaven. I drove for the first time. We went to our home school group for the first time. We played on the playground for the first time. I had a very difficult morning. I know there are many more firsts to come, and by God's grace we will make it one at a time. I was blessed to have hugs from friends and after chatting with a few, not just about Janie Beth, I felt so much better. Thank you, ladies!!! You will never know how you ministered to me just being there talking to me! I was able to go home and nap and the afternoon and evening went much better. I even cleaned out the bassinet. We will be giving all of our baby furniture things to my sister, who is due August 13. I also told the kids that she is expecting. I know I will have many moments as we walk the journey of her pregnancy, but I pray I can enjoy it. My main fear is her baby replacing Janie Beth in the hearts of my kids and family. Once again, God will guide me through. He is faithful!!!
It also hit me in the early hours this morning that in a few days I will see my precious Janie Beth for the last time here on Earth. I could cry just sitting here thinking about it. I long to hold her so badly. It has only been a week, but it feels so long ago! This weekend will be very hard and I covet your prayers in the final preparations and living those days. It is supposed to snow today, but I am hoping to get to the store for Katie Jo to buy Janie Beth's baby doll. I received a mother daughter bracelet set yesterday. I can't wait to put Janie Beth's on and have her hand and my hand with our bracelets on in a picture. I haven't decided if I will leave the bracelet on Janie Beth or not. They are so pretty!! I may order one for Katie Jo in the near future too.
Today has another first. We will watch our first Alabama game without Janie Beth. I am pretty sure her pink lamb will watch with me. :) If it snows, it will be the first snow without Janie Beth. She even got hit by a snow ball when it snowed last time. :) I will forever cherish those memories.
Lord God Almighty, please hold me close to Your heart today. May I be thankful for this day a week ago when I got to hold my baby girl and cherish her and bathe her. Thank You for allowing me to take her for a walk and a car ride. I will forever be thankful for the time You gave me with her. Thank You for making me Janie Beth's mommy!! Thank You for making me Josiah, Katie Jo, and Eli's mommy. They make me smile and laugh everyday! Abba, keep my focus on You as the days get harder. May Your hope and peace and love continue to fill me and surround me. I need You!! Thank You for being so real in my life! I love You, Father! In Jesus' name I pray. Amen
((((HUGS))))))
ReplyDeleteThinking and praying for you all day!
"D"
I will keep you in prayer as you go through the coming days especially. I love the idea of the mother/daughter bracelet, and I know that will be a very special picture you will treasure. I'm glad you got out, and got to be with friends and spend some time just enjoying the company of others.
ReplyDeleteYou are loved and prayed for today!!!
ReplyDeleteJust wanting to let you know that I am thinking of you constantly and praying for you today and every day! Sara Koonce
ReplyDeleteThinking of you often and praying for you and your family, Schelle. Romans 15:13 be yours for today and for all your tomorrows. (((hugs))) Cynthia (MrsE)
ReplyDeleteMichelle, she is a perfect angel! Rick & I said a prayer for you & your family! We got the news on New Years Day while we were in Nashville. We stopped & prayed together! I will see you in Saturday! Hugs & Much Love! Carey Family
ReplyDeleteMichelle, you and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers these many weeks (and will continue to be)and your blog has been an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your heart and your faith with us so transparently. Judy F.
ReplyDeletePrayed for you several times today as you came to mind. Praying you will feel and know God is with you each first step and all the rest you will take.
ReplyDeleteThey will not forget...
ReplyDeleteJosiah, Katie Jo and Eli will not forget Janie Beth.
Twenty five years ago next month, we said good bye to our baby boy. He met Jesus while his little body was still in my womb. Prior to his passing our girls just knew the baby was a boy. They would not call him anything but Andrew when they talked to him and then we lost him.
Eight months later, we had our third daughter, and her sisters told her about Andrew. They all grew up and talked about Andrew on a regular basis. They would tell their friends about their brother.
In September, our first grandson was born. His name is Andrew, after his uncle.
Schelle, they will always remember Janie Beth and the love you all share. The beautiful photos you have and the stories you tell will keep Janie Beth alive in their hearts. It will also make heaven a much more real place as Janie Beth is there with Jesus.
maryh (fishbowl)