Janie Beth would have been 1 month old today. We haven't even reached her due date yet! I wonder what she would have been like at 1 month. What would she sound like? She only squeaked during her time on earth. What would her smile look like? How well would she hold up her head? What would our routine be? So many questions, but no answers.
Instead, we are finding our new routine. It is a much better routine, and the one God wants, but it is still hard. We were in Target yesterday and I could have stood there and stared at the baby girl things. There is the cutest sunflower dress at Wal-Mart that I can just picture her in. I am thankful that she will never go through the pain and sorrow of this world and that she is so happy and joyful in Heaven. But, I still long for her to be here.
I am not sure what today holds for us, but the One who holds the day does! We were going to go putt-putt at an indoor place for Katie Jo's birthday, but she is sickly. So, we will change our plans, and ask God what His plans are for today.
My Abba Father is doing wonders in our midst at our house! He is amazing!!! I pray that you experience Him and His love, mercy, grace, and peace today. He really longs for you.
Abba, hold me close today. The tears are sitting on the rims of my eyes. May Your loving hand wipe them whenever they fall. May You continue to go deeper than my pain and mold me back together into beauty from my ashes. May You continue to be present in my life, my marriage, and my family. Thank You for all You are doing for us!!!! You have done exceedingly abundantly above all I could ever ask or think!!!!! May You continue to do so. I love You! May You bless this day! In Jesus' name I pray. Amen