"And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live." Deuteronomy 30:6

but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.
2 Peter 3:18

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Sad, but so greatful!

Janie Beth has been heavy on my heart today. She has been on my mind a lot, which I don't mind. I love to think of her! I can almost feel her in my arms and feel the wrinkles on her forehead. She is so precious. I miss her so much. Tomorrow she would have turned 1 month. WOW! Has it been that long!?! Are you sure it hasn't been longer!?! How silly does that sound? Katie Jo's birthday is Saturday, and maybe that is compounding my thoughts about Janie Beth too. Katie Jo really wanted Janie Beth to be born on her birthday.

Even with the sadness that fills my heart, I am so greatful!! I have God's peace in my heart. Janie Beth has done so much for me. God's power through her tiny body is amazing!!! She has touched me, my marriage, and my family. My life wouldn't be the same without her. She has revived my marriage, brought my family closer, and challenged me. How does someone so tiny do all that!?! Through God, that is how! She has touched so many lives, and will continue to do so through mine and Joey's lives. Oh, I would love to hold her and have her touch lives by being here, but she wouldn't have been able to do as much for the Kingdom from earth. Thank You, Abba, for showing me flowers that You are growing in my new garden!!! When I look at Janie Beth's picture where she is looking at me and holding my finger, I feel as though God is reaching out to me.

He never brings sorrow into my life that isn't good for me. Everything that comes my way must be filtered through His hands. Through my sorrow I am learning to faith God more and have a true reverence for Him. Those things don't come through the easy times, sadly. I am reading a book by Nancy Guthrie called "Holding on to Hope". She lost 2 babies to Zellweger's Syndrome, they each lived around 6 months. She journeyed through Job after losing Hope, her second child first loss. It is almost like she read my mind. LOL I am so thankful for all that God has done in my life up until this point!!! I am thankful for the grieving process that I had to through in my childhood, teenage years, and even early twenties. (It took me a long time. :)) That prepared me for this. Going through the "Believing God" Bible study by Beth Moore taught me and showed me God's hand in my past. AMAZING!!!! I have no doubt after seeing His hand in my past that His hand is all over my journey and working it all for my good. Thank You, Lord God Almighty, that You know exactly what is coming and exactly what I need to be prepared!! Thank You for Your grace and mercy. Thank You, Jesus, for being my Savior!!!

My Tribute
How can I say thanks for the things You have done for me?
Things so undeserved, yet You gave to prove Your love for me;
the voices of a million angels could not express my gratitude.
All that I am and ever hope to be, I owe it all to Thee.

To God be the glory,
to God be the glory,
to God be the glory,
for the things He has done.

With His blood He has saved me,
with His power He has raised me;
to God be the glory for the things He has done.

Just let me live my life,
let it be pleasing, Lord to Thee,
and if I gain any praise,
let it go to Calvary.

I love You, Abba Father!!!


  1. Michelle,
    I'm from the fishbowl, and I have been following your family story "from afar." But I want you to know how much you have been in my prayers. God continues to hold and lead you all...prayers and hugs from travelingekc

  2. Michelle,
    That picture of Janie Beth holding your finger is the most precious picture. So heart-wrenching! She is beautiful, and so blessed to have a Godly mama who can see the joy in her life. Thank you for blessing the rest of us with these beautiful pictures of her, and telling us how Janie Beth is impacting your lives for God.

  3. Michelle,
    I am a counselee of Kim Reisenwitz, and when Kim told me about Janie Beth a couple of months ago, it touched my heart and I have thought about you and your family often. Your story has truly touched my heart, and I am praying for you and your family. God has been and will continue to be with you all during this time. God used precious little Janie Beth for His glory, and you have a beautiful story to tell. Continue to hold your head up and have faith in God, and He will continue to carry you all through this time. This picture brought tears to my eyes. I know you want to hold your Janie Beth in your arms, and you will be able to again one day. I am praying for you all!! How comforting it is to know that we serve a God that never breaks His promises and never leaves our side.
    Haley Shockley

  4. Michelle,

    I received your blogspot thru google alert and I want to say how beautiful Janie Beth was. A true angel. I too lost my child to Zellwegers syndrome and I have a 2 year old with the same condition. I feel your pain and although we know in our hearts they are in the most beautiful place, we will hurt. You know the saying "Time will heal"...well, for me it is only getting harder...but I trust in God that he will give me the strength to deal with it all. You are in my prayers today Michelle.

    Blessings to you,