Joey has a sermon that he talks about having a WOW moment. He always relays the story of Josiah's WOW moment, which was when Joey told him that he didn't have to start over at 1 again after turning 5 because he had another hand. :) Josiah had been upset that he had to start over at 1. After Joey told him he had another hand, Josiah said "WOW".
Well, God just gave me a WOW moment. I read I Timothy 4:7-8 in my study and it was talking about "exercise yourself toward godliness". It doesn't just happen you have to work at it. I am doing a lot of spiritual exercise right now, and I am so thankful that God got those spiritual muscles stretched and ready for this exercise. Thank You, Lord, that You have helped me to do my quiet times with You and spend time in Your word and in prayer almost everyday. If I hadn't my spiritual muscles wouldn't have been ready. That is a WOW moment right there! Thank You, Jesus!
I went looking for the verses in Philippians about pressing toward the goal. I read Philippians 3: 12-14. These verses are so true for me right now. I read somewhere that it takes twice as much energy to get through the day when you are grieving, and boy were they right! I know that this canyon is deep and it will take me a long time to crawl completely out of it, but I will exercise myself toward godliness, and I will press toward the "goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" and "reach forward to those things which are ahead."
I thought I was done reading, but God pulled my eyes to the passage right above, Phillippians 3: 7-11. WOW!
But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish that I may gain Christ, and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead."
This journey is not about me. Christ must be my greatest desire. Am I seeking Him above all or am I seeking someone else or something else above all? I have been praying for God to draw me closer and bring me to a point of falling in love with Him, not just loving Him. I prayed to be a woman after God's own heart. In other words I have been praying that "I may gain Christ, and be found in Him." WOW!!! God is answering my prayer! I have a new love for Christ that I never had before, and I "know" Him in ways I never thought I could. I see Jesus in a whole new light as I walk this journey. He truly understands my pain and suffering because He has been there. I have a whole new perspective on Jesus' final days here on earth. As He road that donkey into Jerusalem, I can imagine the thoughts going through His head. "Don't they know the road I am walking"; "can't they see the pain on My face". I can feel part of His pain and sorrow in His prayers in the Garden. I by no means will ever fully understand Jesus' pain and sorrow and the road He walked, but God has given me just a glimpse and brought a new love and reverence for Jesus that I never had before. This journey is bringing me closer to "knowing" Him and the "power of His resurrection". The word "know" is the intimate form here. Truly learning to know Jesus takes work, just like a marriage or friendship or any relationship. God has graciously answered my prayers and given me the desires of my heart. Janie means God is gracious, and I see His graciousness everyday through my precious Janie. Thank You, Abba, for answering my prayers with such a precious baby girl. Thank you Janie Beth for touching my life so deeply.
Isn't God good!?! He is so faithful and I pray that He will never cease to amaze me! Is this the way I wanted my prayers answered? No, but I wouldn't change a thing. I can't imagine my life without Janie Beth being my daughter. If I hadn't prayed those prayers, I may have never met her. Thank You, Lord, that she looked at me and held my finger!!!! May I never forget. God, I love her so much. Thank You for growing my love for You and my Savior through this journey!!