New Normal

I was all ready to get on and talk about journeying into our new normal, but then I decided to read updates on other blogs first. Joey wrote Thank you, Janie Beth ( http://drjoeykarr.blogspot.com ). It melted my heart! So, I have no idea where this post may end up. :)

Yesterday we celebrated Janie Beth. It was beautiful!! Thank you to all our family and friends for celebrating with us, and especially to those that helped with something in the ceremony. Joey carried her tiny casket everytime it had to be moved. What a sight! He did it with such love and compassion. It really looked small sitting on the table at the cemetary. Josiah wanted to stay and watch them put her in the ground, but we decided we would just go in a couple days to see her. They are very excited for her stone to come in. They were upset that it wasn't there yet. I am excited to see it too, and excited to be able to go sit with her. I know it is just her body, and I prefer to think of her in heaven, but it is comforting to know that I can sit with the body I held and kissed, that looked at me and squeezed my finger. I am so blessed to have those memories!

Janie Beth has touched my life so much!!! Thank you, Janie Beth, for being so strong! Thank you for teaching me how to walk by faith and not by sight. Thank you, Janie Beth, for making me a better wife and drawing your Daddy and Mommy closer together. Thank you, Janie Beth, for making me a better mommy to Josiah, Katie Jo, and Eli. Thank you for the love that fills my heart because you entered into it. Thank you, Janie Beth, for bringing me some great friends. Thank you, Janie Beth, for drawing me closer to God. Thank you, Janie Beth, for doing such amazing things in this world in your short life. Thank you, Janie Beth, for letting me continue your journey. Thank you, Janie Beth, for looking at me and sqeezing my finger! Thank you for letting me hold you and caress your sweet little face. Thank you, Janie Beth, for all the cherished and precious memories! I love you and I will always love you and miss you!!! You are my precious Janie Beth and you will always live in my heart as you live in heaven.

Thank you, Janie Beth, for changing your family. I have been praying for God to make us a family after His own heart, and Janie Beth is changing our normal. We have to get back in the wagon of life today. The wagon is painted a little different and the track is new, but God is the one pulling it and we will be better for riding in this wagon. She has made me re-evaluate how I am a wife to Joey and a mother to my children. Her imprint will forever be on our lives. We will change the way we do things and I pray in the process draw closer to God as a family. I may not have wanted a new normal, but I believe we needed a new normal! I am saddened as we start this new normal without Janie Beth physically with us, but she is in each of our hearts and is totally a part of our new normal. She caused our new normal, and I must remember that and grateful for all she has done for me. Oh the many blessings I would have missed if she hadn't entered into my life. Thank you, baby girl!

Thank You, Abba, for bringing Janie Beth into our lives! May You guide us into our new normal. May You continue to guide this wagon that we are riding in. May You continue to provide everything I need for every moment of this day. May You continue to draw Joey and I closer in You. May You continue to draw our family closer to You. Guide me in being the wife Joey needs and the mother my children need. Lord, be my Strength and my Refuge in this time of deep need. Life keeps going and we have to keep going, and I just want to sit with my memories. Draw me close, Father and direct my steps on this path. I need You! Thank You for Joey and all that he means to me. Thank You for my children and that they make me keep going. This is the day You have made, help us rejoice and be glad in it. I love You! Thank You so much for Janie Beth and the love You are lavishing on me. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen