We went driving tonight to look at Christmas lights. The kids loved it and were so excited. I had fun hearing their excitement! Yet, I couldn't help but wonder if Janie Beth would ever get to see Christmas lights. She moved around some while were driving and I am thankful that I got to feel her experience the wonders of being a child. As I am typing this, I realized that if she never sees Christmas lights here on earth, she will see amazing CHRIST lights in Heaven. What an amazing way to celebrate Christ birthday by actually getting to be with him. But, my selfishness rears its ugly head and I want to get to experience Christmas through her eyes.
Joey prayed not too long ago that God would show us hope. And you know what popped into my head before anything else!?! We are entering the season where we celebrate the ultimate hope that God gave, His Son. That is where my hope should lie, in Jesus.
I never knew how hard it would be to try to balance having hope and preparing for what might hurt more than anything I have ever experienced. I fear hoping too much because then it may hurt even more if Janie Beth goes on to Heaven. I could easily get myself in a neverending cycle, but I try to chose moment by moment to lean on God. There are moments that I miss, and it feels so good to come back! He is always there waiting for me. Thank You, Abba!!!!
I hope you all take time to just drive and look at Christmas lights through the eyes of a child. It would be even more fun if you let your eyes become the child's eyes. Following it up with hot chocolate is the best. :)