Today is a doctor day. We are having an ultrasound to check on things. I packed our bags yesterday. That was a wee bit difficult at times. Katie Jo asked about helping bathe Janie Beth and helping to feed her. She even said that Janie Beth is going to live. Oh, how I wish I knew if that were true. But, God has told me multiple times over the last weeks that I will not know all the answers on this journey. Joey and I also went through a birth plan/comfort care plan for the hospital. We really want that day to go as smoothly as possible. It was hard to discuss those things especially since all of the things depend on her condition. To start out a birth plan with the words, in the event that Janie Beth's condition is fatal, is not something that any parent would want to write. But, God's grace is sufficient. I slept better last night than I have a few nights.
Brother Greg's sermon yesterday was written just for me!! He talked about Mary and Joseph and life after Christmas (Matthew 2:13-23). How they had to go to Egypt and it was a time of uncertainty. We are definitely living in a time of uncertainty in the Karr household. He said the God has a right to change our plans. Isn't that the truth!?! This was not in my plans, but God's ways and thoughts are higher than my ways and thoughts. His next point was that we often don't know the next step to take. Yet again it points right at me. God is telling us only what we need to know for the moment we are in. He wants us to trust Him without knowing what the future holds. God puts many detours in our lives. Bro. Greg's last point was that God is always at work in ways we don't see. I can testify to that one! Things are going exactly according to God's timing and His hand is all over our journey. His plans will prevail, and no purpose of His can be thwarted (Job 42:2). Why can I trust God on a journey that I have no idea where it is going? Because He is omniscient (all-knowing), omnipotent (all-powerful), and omnipresent (always present). Jesus always understands, and He came to make a way for me to hope.
This goes right along with waiting in faith! Living by faith is not knowing the next step to take. God said that His word will be a lamp unto my feet. Well, most lamps don't give a whole lot of light and if it is shining on my feet, then my eyes can't really see in front of me. His hand will uphold me in the days, weeks, months, and years to come, and I can lean fully on that because I will remember what He has done for me in my past and the multitude of witnesses He has placed in my life and in the Bible.
Today is kind of scary, but I have asked God to be strong where I am weak and to write my faith for today. More than anything I want His peace that surpasses all understanding to fill my heart and soul. I am so thankful that Joey will be with me every step of the way. God has blessed me abundantly with a loving husband.
I will update this afternoon if at all possible on how the appointment goes. Thank you for your many prayers and thoughts!!
praying...
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