People have told me I am strong. I finally figured out I am the complete opposite. I have learned what God means when He says that where I am weak, He is strong. He is my strength right now. He is also the Author of my faith. God fills me each day with what I need to make it through that day. He never fails me! It is amazing what a trial does in your life. God has brought issues to the forefront that I didn't even know were there, or I had buried far down so that I wouldn't have to remember. I call this Janie Beth's journey, but it is turning into my journey of faith in the Refiner's fire. I think I am going along just fine and don't really have anything major I need to work on, and then God taps you on the head, and light bulb! You see yourself for who you really are, sin and all. Those aren't pretty pictures! God had already been doing so much in my life through the journey of church searching and having to lean on Him for everything, and now it has been taken to a whole new level. There are so many layers to a relationship with God. I am thankful that He takes the time to patiently teach me, mold me, and guide me as I try so hard to do things my way.
Janie Beth, you have blessed me beyond measure and you haven't even left my womb yet. I still pray everyday that she would get her miracle on this side of heaven, but I also pray that God would do what is best for her and us. We go to the OB on Monday, and probably the Neonatal as well. I am praying for wisdom for us and the doctors. I would really like a little more watching of her and how she is doing. I don't feel like I have grown in the last couple weeks, so I am anxious to see what I am measuring.
I love this time in the afternoon when all the other kids are in bed and Janie Beth and I just sit on the couch. She is moves around a lot and I get to just enjoy her. There are days when I wish my belly was see-through so that I could see her. It is nice to take time out to just be with her and relish her presence.
Thank you all for the many prayers!! They are greatly needed and appreciated. God is so gracious to us!